Money, health and law

As anybody else I have suffered watching Charlie Gard's hospital pictures.
 Who can say what kind of world there is behind those closed eyes?
And why does he tight so strongly his little hands?
Nevertheless I wondered, as a man and as a lawyer, why his life was going to be stopped against his parent's will.
The High Court's sentence has given me the right answer.

 The GOSH (Great Ormond Street Hospital) made an application  to the High Court in order to know if it were lawful for the hospital to withdraw the expensive  artificial machines which keep Charlie alive. 

The doctors  say in their application that any  decision would be taken, as in the past,  in the best interest of the little boy. 

But still the same question rose on my head: why against the Charlie's parents? 

Why don't they have a say in their boy's life? 

Well, though the good Mr Justice Francis has tried to overlook the issue, I must say that the real origin of the whole affair is the money. 

As a matter of fact if Mr Gard and his wife Connie had had the money to pay the Charlie's expensive treatments, then the hospital would have never applied the High Court. 

They can now mix the cards otherwise but since the beginning it was a matter of money.

And when Charlie's parents rose a fund to transfer their son in USA it was too late:  the voice of law had already spoken.

Nobody would have allowed to make such an application to High Court if little Charlie was not kept alive with the National Health Security's money!

And the bitter truth can't be hidden anymore: You can live only if you the money for! If you can't afford it, you may surely die! In the name of justice!

I'm not saying the High Court's sentence was unfair or, in some way, wrong. That's not the point! It has even appointed a Guardian in the interest of Charlie,  though it was clearly  against the parent's will! And the reasons of the sentence were well balanced; and even drenched of human compassion.

We may talk a long while about euthanasy or about the fair ethic of keeping a live attached to an artificial machine's treatment, but I underlined once again that this is not the focus in Charlie's affair. 

The justice has been promoted in the name of the public interest: with that money we can save more other lives, likely to be saved more than little poor Charlie's.

But how many kind of lives do exist? Are we making a range in the right of living? And wher do we put the equality principle in this heartbreaking affair?

It's difficult to answer only one of these questions. But we cannot hide the truth behind a finger: the law, in this case, has taken the supremacy against life because the lack of money; the poor has been crushed under the obscure formulas of law.

I hope the law finds the courage to step back. 

If they don't want  God saying the  last word, I hope they leave Charlie's parents decide about their own flesh.

5 Things Parents Shouldn’t Let Their Kids Do

Wondering if your parenting is on the right track? While not all parenting strategies will work for all parents, there are definitely some things that all parents should think twice about before letting their children do.



Think twice before letting your child:



1.Break the rules. Do you let your 12-year-old order off the kid’s menu even if it says it for children under 10? What about Facebook? Does your preteen have an account with Facebook even though their terms of use say he shouldn’t? When you let your children break these types of rules, you’re sending the message that the rules that apply to everyone else do not apply to them. Children who grow up thinking they are above the rules may grow up with an indifference to authority and perhaps even a blatant disrespect for it.

2.Get away with bad behavior. Find it hard to hold back the giggles when your toddler drops the F-bomb? Too tired to consistently enforce behavioral rules? Will you let your child do almost anything as long as you get five minutes of peace and quiet? When you let your child get away with bad behavior you’re reinforcing that the behavior is acceptable, especially if he knows you notice it. Behavior’s that are cute now won’t necessarily be cute when your little one grows up.

3.Be rude to others. While you may not think it’s a big deal if your child constantly interrupts you while you’re on the phone or refuses to look someone in the eye when they’re speaking, it is. This lack of manners, otherwise called social skills, will impact how your growing child will get along with others as an adolescent and adult. They are absolutely necessary skill to have to do well in school, work and life in general.

4.Think you’re their friend. When it comes to the parent and child relationship, you shouldn’t be your child’s friend, or let her think that you are. Friends are confidants and those who have similar ideas and outlooks on life. Parents shouldn’t confide in their children as children aren’t emotionally able to handle playing the role of confidant. Plus, children and parents often see things differently, like when it’s time to go home from the playground. Setting limits and guiding behavior is an important and functional part of parenting.

5.Develop a sense of entitlement. Children who have a sense of entitlement feel that everyone owes them everything. They tend to be selfish and think whenever something doesn’t go their way it’s not fair. As they grow up, these children expect people to do what they say and get what they want when they say it and when they want it. If this distorted sense isn’t corrected, it can be problematic in the children’s relationships and interactions with others. To deflate this sense of entitlement, parents can teach their children the value of hard work and giving back to others and by setting limits on what they give their kids.

While there are many things you can and should do as parents, these are some of the things you shouldn’t. If you keep your kids from doing these five things, you’re definitely heading down the right parenting path.

P-S. This post is published under the appointment and the authorisation of Barbara Williams. If you want to know about the subject please click on the link below:

http://www.findababysitter.org/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/rules.jpg

5 Reasons to Play with Your Child More

 

At the end of a long day many parents don’t have the energy to pull out a board game, put together a construction set or sit on the ground and play with dolls.  With having to cook dinner, clean the dishes, fold the laundry, answer the phone and take out the garbage, spending time with your kids can end up on the bottom of the evening’s list.  After all, the rewards for finishing the household chores are obvious and immediate. However, the effects of spending time playing with your children are just as real and will certainly last longer.

Through play children learn how to cooperate and share with others.  The only way a child learns to share and play nice with others is through observation and interaction with people.  Play is a great opportunity to show by example how to work with someone else even when you don’t agree with them.  While playing with your child, do not shy away from disagreements and do not always let your child have her way.  Help her learn to cooperate with others by having to figure out how to cooperate with you. Role playing can teach a child lessons that are difficult to teach through conventional means.

Playing with mom or dad meets the need for attention children have in a positive way.  Children may act out with negative behaviors because for some reason they are in need of attention.  When this need for attention is not met in a positive way, the child will begin to look for other ways to get that need met. This could be through behaviors like not following directions, doing things he has been told not to and even hitting.  Playing with your child will feed his very real need for attention and will help to make the “acting out” behaviors less frequent.

Parents will learn to understand and respect the challenging perspectives of their child.  There are many ways parents disagree and argue with their children.  In heated moments it is very easy to misunderstand a child and her opinion.  Playing with a child helps parents gain more of their child’s perspective.    Through time spent together parents can understand why a child might act in such strange ways or at least soften their hearts to not be quite as irritated.

Parents will understand to a greater degree the pressures their child is facing every day.  During lighthearted play a child will often let out her greatest worries and concerns.  It might be very difficult for her to verbalize why she is worried about a particular problem but often times those feelings reveal themselves when she plays.  During playtime parents should listen closely to these cues and use the playful atmosphere to reassure and comfort her.

Time spent together in play helps a child connect and get to know his parents.  Life moves fast.  Parents often say “It seems like he was just my little baby and now look how big he is.”  Parents will never look back at their life and say “I should have kept the dishes cleaner” or “I should have answered my phone more.”  However, if parents don’t take the time out of their busy lives to play with and engage their child, some pretty amazing opportunities might be missed. This time together not only helps parents understand, support and love their child more, but it will help the child know the parent to a greater degree which will help him become a well-balanced and emotionally whole adult.

This post has been proposed to me for publication by Anne Laurie. If you want to know more about it please just go to link below.

http://www.gonannies.com/blog/2013/5-reasons-to-play-with-your-child-more/

7 Holiday Traditions to Start with Your Family

Some families have holiday traditions that go back generations.  Other families don’t really have any traditions at all.  Regardless of which camp you fall into, why not create a few new holiday traditions this Christmas season?  Traditions give everyone something special to look forward to year after year.  If you are at a loss as to what kind of things you can do to start a tradition, check out this list.

1. Look at the lights.  Magical twinkling lights are all around in the weeks leading up to Christmas.  Pick a night to take the whole family on a drive around the neighborhood or a drive through one of those huge displays that you pay by the car load.  You might want to bring along some popcorn and hot chocolate to enjoy during your drive.
2. Serve dinner at a soup kitchen.  Check with your local shelters to find out when they serve dinners and look into if you and your family can take part in helping those less fortunate.  Check early, because sometimes shelters take the first 50 people to help and then turn other volunteers away.  Christmastime is a popular time to help serve at the soup kitchen, and a lot of places will take reservations for volunteers.
3. Go Christmas caroling.  It doesn’t matter if you can carry a tune or not.  Dress warmly and print out the lyrics of some popular Christmas songs, then take a stroll around the neighborhood singing to folks.  This doesn’t happen as regularly as it once did, and people will surely be thrilled to hear a holiday song.  Ask some of your friends to come along if you are shy about your abilities.  There is strength in numbers.
4. Watch a tree lighting.  Most cities have a central square or other location where they have a big Christmas tree lighting ceremony.  Sometimes it’s tied to other winter activities that you might join in on as well.  Check with your city or online to see where the different tree lightings are in your area.
5. Go on a sleigh ride.  If you live in an area where there is no snow then you can look for a carriage ride and go on one of those with your family.  Check the yellow pages in your area and see where you can find a sleigh ride or carriage ride this holiday season.  It’s magical listening to the sleigh bells ring.
6. Invite friends over for Christmas Eve.  Get together with some friends on Christmas Eve and play games or watch a Christmas movie with some popcorn and candy.  Make it a potluck or order Chinese food for something completely different than what everyone will be eating on Christmas day.
7. Bake cookies for the neighbors.  If you love to bake why don’t you and the kids make up a bunch of cookies, candies and bars to take to the neighbors?  People usually like homemade food and will be excited to see someone from the neighborhood bringing them goodies.  You never know, the way to a cranky neighbor’s heart might be through their stomach!

Anything can become a tradition if you make it a point to do it every year.  Bake cinnamon rolls on Christmas morning or mix up a batch of homemade fudge.  You will be amazed how much fun it will be to anticipate these traditions year after year.

 P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Sandra McAubre.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.hireananny.org/blog/7-holiday-traditions-to-start-with-your-family/ 

30 Blog Posts from Breast Cancer Survivors

Facing a breast cancer diagnosis can very easily be one of the most terrifying and stressful situations of your lifetime. It’s easy to feel isolated and alone in your struggle, especially if no one you know has endured a similar battle. Thankfully, the global village created by the blogosphere has an entire community that acts as a breast cancer support system through the blog entries of actual breast cancer survivors. From the earliest days of your diagnosis to the victory of remission, and everything that happens in between, these 30 blogs offer support, information and real-life advice to help you every step of the way.

Dealing with the Diagnosis

Immediately after receiving the news of your breast cancer diagnosis, you will probably run the gamut of emotions, experiencing everything from fear to outrage. There’s no “right” or “wrong” reaction, as these five bloggers explain in their own diagnosis stories and advice offerings.

• Dealing with Diagnosis
• Breast Cancer: Diagnosis
• It Started With a Delayed Diagnosis
• What to Expect After a Breast Cancer Diagnosis
• Breast Cancer Diagnosis: Where Can You Turn?

Chemotherapy

You’ll naturally want to learn as much as possible about one of the most common forms of cancer treatment, but scientific journals can be difficult for a layperson to decode. These five bloggers explain chemotherapy and share their own stories or the fruits of their research in plain language that’s relatively easy to understand.

• Does Chemotherapy Deserve Its Bad Rap?
• Tummy Troubles Linked to Chemotherapy
• Chemotherapy and Exercise
• For Those About to A/C…
• Experimental Biology Blogging: Cancer Chemotherapy and Cognitive Deficits

Managing Hair Loss

One of the most dreaded aspects of cancer treatment is the possibility of hair loss as a result of chemotherapy. Unfortunately, many women are hesitant to discuss the matter when they’re facing that anxiety, usually for fear of appearing vain. These five blog posts take on the subject of hair loss resulting from cancer treatment honestly, giving you practical and useful advice for handling this difficult situation.

• Raw October — Day 21 (Hair By Chemotherapy)
• Breast Cancer, Hair Loss, and Dismissive Doctors
• Coping With Hair Loss as a Result of Cancer Treatment
• A Shaved Head is Worth a Thousand Words
• Coping With Hair Loss From Cancer Treatment

Preparing for a Mastectomy

Even if you’re not yet sure whether or not a mastectomy is in your future, it’s wise to begin gathering information and familiarizing yourself with the procedure while learning to manage the resultant emotional fallout as early as possible. These five blogs approach mastectomy candidly and frankly, pulling no punches.

• Preparing for a Mastectomy
• Prepare for Mastectomy
• Top 10 Tips – Pre-Mastectomy
• “Preparing for Mastectomy”, After Mastectomy and Lymph Node Dissection
• Preparing for Your Mastectomy Surgery

Alternative Treatments

While most women that turn to alternative treatments are in the later stages of cancer, there are those that want to pursue holistic or alternative treatment from the moment of their diagnosis. In the interest of making sure that you have the best possible chance of emerging on the other side of this battle as a breast cancer survivor, these five blogs approach the subject of alternative treatment. Keep in mind, however, that most bloggers are not medical professionals, and that their advice is no substitute for that of your oncologist or physician.

• Less Invasive Breast Cancer Treatment
• Alternative Medicine Use and Breast Cancer
• Breast Cancer Treatment Options and Alternatives
• Looking Towards Alternative Breast Cancer Treatment
• An Alternative Therapy for Some Breast Cancer Patients

Remission

The ultimate goal after receiving a breast cancer diagnosis is to reach the Holy Grail of remission. These five blog entries discuss several aspects of remission, both from a personal and scientific perspective.

• Thank You, Remission
• Breast Cancer Survivor ROC – 25 Years in Remission
• Remission
• When Cancer Disappears: The Curious Phenomenon of “Unexpected Remission”
• Living for Years With Late-Stage Cancer

 P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by   Hannah Anderson. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information: 
http://www.fulltimenanny.com/blog/30-blog-posts-from-breast-cancer-survivors/ 

10 Tips for Interviewing a Nanny

The nanny interview is a hugely important piece of the nanny screening process. A comprehensive interview helps parents gather the information they need to make an informed hiring decision. As you begin the interview process, keep these 10 tips in mind:

1. Conduct a phone interview before you move onto a face to face interview. Your time is in short supply, so make sure to talk with a nanny on the phone before you invest in a longer face to face interview. During the phone interview you can cover the basics and see if your personalities mesh well.
2. Write down some key topics you want to make sure you cover. There are lots of things you need to cover during a nanny interview. It’s easy to get caught up in the conversation and forget to ask about things that are important to you. An easy way to make sure you hit all your points is to go into the interview with notes. It’s easy to refer to your notes throughout the interview or quickly review them at the end to make sure you’ve covered all you want to cover.
3. Ask open ended questions. You want to learn as much about the nanny as possible during the interview. One of the best ways to do that is to ask open-ended, situational questions rather than yes or no questions. Doing so forces the nanny to really put thought into her answers. It also gives you a better view into how she feels, what she thinks, and how she makes decisions. Instead of asking “Do you use time-outs?” ask, “Tell me about a time you had to discipline a two-year-old.”
4. Carve out time to talk with the nanny without your kids. It’s important that your attention is focused on the nanny during the interview. This is an important decision, and the information she’s offering during the interview will help you evaluate her and decide if she’s the best choice for your family.
5. Keep the interview conversational. It can be nerve-wrenching for nannies to interview for a job they really want. By keeping the conversation casual, you can help put the nanny at ease. Why is that important? When a caregiver is comfortable and doesn’t feel guarded, she’ll be much more likely to share her true self. That will give you the best view into who she really is and will help you make an informed decision.
6. Give the nanny the chance to ask questions too. There are lots of things the nanny needs to know about your job. Hopefully, you can cover many of the job description details during the initial screening process. However, as you talk during the interview, encourage the nanny to ask questions about issues that come up. It’s essential that the candidate have all the information she needs to make the best decision.
7. Ask the nanny back for an additional interview where she can interact with your child. Although it’s important to meet with the nanny without your child, clearly her ability to connect with your child is the biggest factor in your decision. Regardless of your child’s age, invite the nanny to spend time with your child. Observe her comfort level with your child, how hands-on she is, if she knows about the developmental stage your child is in, and how your child reacts to her. Remember, she knows she’s being evaluated, so chances are she’s nervous and won’t be as relaxed with your child as she normally would be.
8. If your children are old enough, involve them in the interview process. The focus of the nanny’s job is your child. If your kids are old enough to understand you’re choosing a new nanny, ask them to participate in the selection process. It can be something as simple as asking the nanny a question or two or having a real voice in the decision making process.
9. Don’t skip the working interview. When you find the nanny that fits your needs and meshes well with your family, ask her to come back for a working interview. Seeing how she actually is on the job will give you that last bit of information you need to make your final hiring decision. A working interview also gives the nanny a chance to see if your job is the best choice for her. This two way match is the key to a long-term, successful nanny/family relationship.
10. Let the nanny know how you’re feeling after the interview. If you absolutely love a nanny, let her know it. Highly qualified nannies are generally interviewing with more than one family, so let a great candidate know you want to pursue her. Give her a timetable for taking your next step and let her know when you’ll be contacting her.

A well-thought out interview strategy can help parents learn about the nanny and make the best choice for their family.

 P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Maureen Denard. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information: 

http://www.findananny.net/blog/10-tips-for-interviewing-a-nanny/ 

Should You Let Your Nanny Bring Her Child To Work With Her?

Many nannies who are also moms look for families that will allow them to bring their own child to work with them. This is a valuable benefit to the nanny and, under the right circumstances, can also be a benefit to the employer. Here are the things you should think about when deciding if this situation is right for your family.

Consider some of the possible advantages.

Parents may save money by allowing their nanny to bring her child to work. When hiring a nanny who has a child she wants to bring along with her, parents can often negotiate a lower hourly rate in exchange for the benefit. The nanny should still be paid fairly, however the benefit is often worth taking a lower pay rate or forfeiting another benefit like additional paid time off.

If your current nanny wants to bring her child, either because her current childcare arrangement has changed or she’s pregnant and planning for her return after maternity leave, there are a generally two ways to approach the money issue. In most cases the nanny forgoes an upcoming raise or bonus. If the new arrangement makes it impossible for your nanny to continue with her current responsibilities (e.g. she can no longer take the adult /child water class because that would leave her child unsupervised or she can no longer do school drop off and pick up because her car doesn’t have space for the extra car seat), a pay cut may be appropriate.

A nanny who brings her child to work with her can usually give parents more scheduling flexibility. Like all parents, the limits of your nanny’s childcare arrangement impact her work schedule. If your nanny has to be at her child’s daycare no later than 6:30 PM, she won’t have the option of staying late because you have a client meeting or need to finish a big project. If she’s able to bring her child to work with her, she has a lot more flexibility with her work schedule.

The nanny’s child can be a built-in playmate. If your child is an only child, having your nanny bring her child to work may be the beginning of a great relationship. Many parents say their nanny’s child becomes part of the family and is thought of like a cousin or close family friend. This can be a great advantage to both the nanny and her employers.

You can keep a beloved nanny who might otherwise quit. This is a very personal and important issue to your nanny. It can be very hard to care for someone else’s child when your own child is in daycare. Many nannies will leave a position they’re otherwise happy in to find a family that will allow them to bring their child to work. By allowing your nanny this option, you can keep a nanny that you and your child love, value and trust.

For all the advantages that allowing your nanny to bring her child to work offers, there are also some possible disadvantages that should be explored as well:

The nanny’s time and attention will be divided. Even if your nanny is completely devoted to your child, adding another child to the mix means there will be times when her attention will be divided. That doesn’t mean she can’t still provide high quality care. It simply means there will be times when she has to attend to her child before yours. It would be the same case if your child welcomed a new sibling into the house.

There will be an additional child to consider when deciding on activities. Adding an additional child to the mix, especially one that is not the same age as your child, may limit the activities the nanny can plan or participate in. A new baby can’t be outside all day at the lake like a 5-year-old can. A toddler can’t keep up with an 8-year-old on an afternoon bike ride. How much this affects your child’s daily environment depends on the nanny, her child and the things your child normally does.

The nanny may not be able to take on additional tasks. It takes more time and energy to care for two children than it does for one. If you were planning on asking your nanny to take on more tasks like grocery shopping or family meal prep as your child got older, that might not be feasible if she brings her child to work with her.

Allowing your nanny to bring her child to work can be a positive or negative experience. It’s an important decision for both you and your nanny, and it should be discussed honestly and in-depth before any decisions are made. There’s not a right or wrong path. In this case, the right decision depends on your needs and personal preferences.

P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Isabella Harris. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information: 

http://www.nannyjobs.net/blog/should-you-let-your-nanny-bring-her-child-to-work-with-her/ 

Separation Anxiety in the Early Elementary School Child

Separation anxiety is a common occurrence in young children just beginning school, especially those that have never attended daycare or been regularly left in the care of a childcare provider outside of the family. Though it can be painful for both parents and children to leave each other at first, separation anxiety is usually overcome as a child becomes more accustomed to her new routine. When separation anxiety persists well beyond preschool or kindergarten and into the early elementary school years, however, it may indicate a more serious problem than run of the mill separation anxiety. There are several common causes for difficulty separating in elementary aged children that parents of struggling children may want to take into consideration.

• School Phobia – Children that become visibly anxious or exhibit a fear of going to school may be suffering from a more severe anxiety disorder known as school phobia, which can manifest as persistent separation anxiety. If your child has frequent stomachaches, nausea, diarrhea, or headaches that aren’t connected to an actual illness when school is mentioned, he may be suffering from school phobia. This condition is also called school avoidance or school refusal, terms that seem to imply a simple distaste for school. For some children, this anxiety can dissipate on its own as a routine is established and fears prove to be unfounded. The issue can also be an early indication of anxiety disorders and may negatively impact your child’s academic performance. Should his ability to keep up with his class result from frequent school avoidance, it may become even more stressful to attend class as fears that his delays will be discovered by his classmates begin to exacerbate his anxiety. Consulting your child’s pediatrician to determine if his separation anxiety is rooted in school phobia and discussing the matter with your child can help you determine the best course of action.
• Personal Trauma – Divorce, the death of a loved one, or other traumatic changes in your child’s life can make the idea of being separated from remaining caregivers a repellent one, even for short periods of time. If your child’s separation anxiety began to present itself after a traumatic event, that event could be the underlying cause of his reluctance to be separated from you. Working with your child’s doctor or a specializing therapist to manage these feelings and help him overcome the trauma is usually the best way to resolve any lingering separation anxiety.
• Abuse or Bullying – A child that shows marked anxiety about attending school but refuses to explain why he’s reluctant to be separated from a loved and trusted caregiver may be the victim of bullying, either from classmates or older students in his school. Look for signs of bullying, and approach the subject with your child carefully to determine if this is the cause of his anxiety. Similarly, a child who shows little compunction about attending school but is visibly upset at the prospect of being left in after-school care may be suffering from abuse at the hands of a caregiver. Before leveling accusations of abuse at your child’s caregiver, however, you should remember that such allegations can be personally and professionally devastating, even if proven false in the end. You should be absolutely certain that your child is being abused before filing charges or accusing his childcare provider of harming him, but it is a possibility you should consider if his behavior is erratic and his separation anxiety seems to manifest only at certain times.
• Academic Struggles – When a child is struggling to keep up with his class or feels overwhelmed by the academic demands placed on him at school, even at an early age, fear of discovery and humiliation can present itself as severe separation anxiety. If your child hysterically protests being separated from a loving parent and an environment that feels safe and you’re aware of any difficulty with schoolwork, it’s wise to consider the possibility that his anxiety is a result of his struggle to keep up. Many learning disorders can be managed, but the ability to manage them depends upon a diagnosis. To determine whether or not your child’s separation anxiety is a symptom of a learning disorder that affects his academic performance, you should consult with his teacher, a counselor and your pediatrician.
• Separation Anxiety Disorder – While traditional separation anxiety is considered a normal developmental milestone for babies and toddlers, separation anxiety disorder is an actual illness that presents itself in older children. Distress upon separation, persistent worry that future events will lead to a permanent separation from a loved one, and irrational concerns that a parent or loved one will die or meet a terrible fate while they’re out of a child’s sight are all indicators that the child is suffering from separation anxiety disorder. If your child exhibits signs of anxiety upon being separated under any circumstances, such as sleeping in their own bedroom or visiting a friend’s house, it’s important that you discuss the matter with his doctor to ensure that he gets the right treatment to manage his symptoms.

Determining whether your child is suffering from run-of-the-mill separation anxiety at a relatively late age or whether his stress is the result of an underlying problem can be challenging without the help of a medical professional. Addressing these problems early can help you and your family better manage the symptoms, dramatically improving the quality of life for everyone involved.

  P. S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Barbara Williams.   I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.findababysitter.org/blog/separation-anxiety-in-the-early-elementary-school-child/ 

10 Ways Kids Can Help Prepare Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving is all about family and spending time together.  Generations often share the kitchen while creating some of the best tasting dishes.  Bring the kids into the kitchen this year and help them learn about some of your family’s traditional Thanksgiving recipes.  From toddlers to teens, there’s something everyone can do to help out.

1. Lay out the bread to dry. Many stuffing recipes require stale bread.  Have your child set the bread out on the counter. Once it’s stale, allow him to break up the bread and dump in premeasured spices. 
2. Wash the vegetables for the crudité platter.  Serve a platter of crudité with some dip for guests to snack on.  Kids can wash the veggies and drain some pickles and olives before putting them onto a platter.
3. Peel the potatoes. Around ages 8 to 10, most kids can use a potato peeler with supervision.  Teach her how to use the peeler than observe her in action before leaving her to the task.
4. Add the marshmallows to the top of the sweet potatoes. Kids may enjoy the simple task of adding marshmallows to the top of the sweet potatoes, while sneaking a few as a snack, of course.  When kids help prepare a dish they feel connected to it and may be more likely to try it.
5. Make some whipped honey butter. Allow a stick of butter to sit out until it reaches room temperature.  Have her add the butter, along with some honey, to a mixing bowl.  A couple of tablespoons worth are enough.  Add a few spoonfuls of powdered sugar and turn on the mixer.  Once blended, scoop the finished product into a pretty bowl and it’s ready to serve.
6. Toss the salad. There are several ways kids can help create the dinner salad.  Let him tear the lettuce into bite-sized pieces, rinse it off and toss it into the salad spinner. Once he spins the lettuce dry he can add in the rest of the ingredients, including the dressing. Have him toss the salad and set it on the table.
7. Set the table. Depending on their age kids can set the entire table Thanksgiving table independently or set out items as you direct. Draw a table setting on a piece of paper. Your child can use the paper as a place setting guide.
8. Plan the meal. Letting young ones help plan the menu for the big day will not only allow them to feel part of the celebration, but it may get them to try more types of food. Ask your children what vegetables they’d like to see on the menu and work together to find something appropriate to include.
9. Snap green beans. Green bean casserole is a traditional dish served at many Thanksgiving feasts. Have the kids snap the ends of the beans that you’ll use in the casserole. Parents and kids can race to see who can finish snapping the ends off of their pile of beans that fastest.
10. Mashing potatoes. Another traditional dish at the Thanksgiving table is mashed potatoes.  After the potatoes are boiled, kids can use a hand masher to help mash the potatoes up. 

Consider what meal preparation tasks are age-appropriate for each child in your family. Assign each child at least one responsibility. The more involved kids feel, the more excited they’ll be about sharing Thanksgiving dinner together.

  P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Kathleen Crislip.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.nannycare.org/blog/10-ways-kids-can-help-prepare-thanksgiving-dinner/ 

How to Use a Family Meeting as a Discipline Tool

Many parents think of discipline as something that is done in the moment, an action that stops a child from misbehaving, or one that doles out the consequence of past misbehavior. Of course that’s part of discipline, but another part, one that can greatly lessen the need for “in the moment” discipline, is teaching tools. These are tools parents and caregivers can use to curb misbehavior before it happens. Family meetings are one of the most effective discipline teaching tools.

Family meetings don’t have to be long or complicated to be successful.

In fact, the best aren’t. Getting your family all together in a room focused on each other rather than the outside world is a challenge. But it can be done and is well worth the effort. Depending upon the age of your children, the size of your family, and the issues you’re tackling, a family meeting can last between 15 and 45 minutes.  Most are right around 30 minutes. By making these gatherings a priority and putting them on the calendar in advance, you can set the stage for how your family interacts for the rest of the week and over the long haul. Working with an agenda lets everyone know what to expect and keeps the meeting on track. Once your family gets in the habit of holding regular meetings, it becomes a part of how your family operates.

Family meetings teach children many important things.

Many of the skills children need to regulate their behavior and navigate the challenges they face every day are taught and practiced in the family meeting. They learn to listen to others respectfully, they get to see and be a part of the problem solving process, they experience the value of a cooling off period before tackling an issue, they come to understand that accountability is an important part of moving past mistakes, and they see cooperation between children and adults in action. Family meetings give children a real voice in the family, help them feel respected, valued, and supported, and let them contribute to the family in a significant way. Imagine how all those things will positively impact your child’s behavior outside of the meeting!

There are four components to a Positive Discipline style family meeting.

When you first start having meetings, introduce one component each week until your family understands each part. After that, you can combine all the elements together.

1. The agenda is where family members can list problems they’re having that they want to talk about in a family meeting. Mostly likely not all problems can be tackled in the meeting, but putting them on the list shows the family member his concerns are important and heard. The agenda should be posted in a common area like the kitchen or laundry room. Younger children can ask an older sibling or parent to write their items on the list.
2. Compliments are a way to connect in a meaningful way to each other. Each member offers one (or more!) compliment to other members. This can be a thank you for something said or done, an “atta boy” for an accomplishment, or something he appreciates about that person.
3. Brainstorming is coming up with as many solutions as you can think of to a problem listed on the agenda. Encourage creativity by adding silly ideas to the list. After the brainstorming cross off any solutions that aren’t practical, respectful, or helpful. From the new list, work together to choose one solution to try out for a week.
4. Plan a family fun activity that everyone commits to and add it to your family calendar. The fun activity doesn’t have to be one that all members agree on. Remember, you’re teaching respect for the ideas and wishes of others and cooperation. The important thing is to spend time together as a family having fun. One week you might go bowling, your older child’s favorite activity. The next week you might watch the football game together, Dad’s pick. And the next week you might go to the community pool for the afternoon, something everyone wants to do.

There’s no such thing as a perfect family meeting.

Your family meetings will go faster and more smoothly once everyone learns the basic skills required. However all skills need practice and each meeting will serve as a practice session. The good news is there is no right or wrong way to hold a family meeting. As long as members are coming together, learning, and connecting, you’re on the right track.

Once adults and children experience family meetings in their home, they often use the same format in other relationships and situations. Adults can use the format at work with co-workers, older children can use them with their friends and classmates, and nannies can use them with their charges. Wherever there are two or more people in a relationship with each other, a family meeting can help them live, work, and play happier together.

Related content:

1. Nanny Performance Evaluation: What to Expect & How to Discuss Problems With Your Employer
2. 10 Great Online Tutoring Websites
3. 10 Reasons Why Hiring a Nanny Pays For Itself
4. Interview like a Pro
5. Valentine’s Day Cooking Ideas
    
   P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Sara Dawkins.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

    
   http://www.nannypro.com/blog/how-to-use-a-family-meeting-as-a-discipline-tool/
    

10 Reasons Why Nanny Employers Should Hold Weekly Meetings With Their Nannies

While setting aside time each week to meet with your nanny may seem like overkill, it actually can be quite beneficial to your working relationship. Here are 10 reasons why doing so is important to maintaining a healthy nanny and employer relationship.

1. Weekly meetings help to keep the lines of communication open. The key to a successful nanny and employer relationship is open communication. Having a time set aside each week to discuss your nanny’s job, her performance, or any concerns either of you may have helps take the pressure off busy parents and nannies who find it hard to say more than two words to each other during the often hectic hello and goodbye routines.

2. Weekly meetings provide an opportunity to discuss non-pressing, but important issues. Sometimes something comes up that you want to discuss with your nanny, but you don’t want to start the conversation off the cuff. Knowing that you have time scheduled to meet with your nanny can elevate concerns of when and how to broach a discussion.

3. Weekly meetings create accountability. Most nannies work alone and unsupervised. When this is the case, nannies and employers rarely care for the kids at the same time. In addition to providing incentive for your nanny to do her best since she knows you’ll be evaluating her performance, weekly meetings help to ensure that  everyone is keeping their commitments when it comes to childcare issues, like taking a pacifier away or potty training.

4. Weekly meetings open the door to air grievances. Often times the anger and resentment that builds over an issue is worse than the issue itself. Perhaps your nanny doesn’t load the dishwasher to your standards or she shrunk a chenille blanket in the wash. Knowing that you’ll have a forum to discuss non-pressing and non-safety related issues can help keep the negative emotions in check.

5. Weekly meetings give everyone the opportunity to regroup. Behind every busy nanny employer is a busy nanny. With crazy schedules and out of sync routines, it can be easy for parents and nannies to stray in different directions. Meeting weekly provides an opportunity to regroup, reaffirm goals, and regain strength as a team.

6. Weekly meetings allow for uninterrupted, private conversation. Finding unscheduled time to speak with your nanny sans kids can feel like a mission impossible. However having uninterrupted time to speak to your nanny is essential, especially when the topics aren’t appropriate for little ears to hear.

7. Weekly meetings provide a chance to talk about what works and what doesn’t. Perhaps you’ve started your baby on solid foods or you’ve transitioned to one nap a day. Having a weekly meeting allows you the opportunity to evaluate and reevaluate your schedule, routine, and decisions.

8. Weekly meetings establish an opportunity to discuss scheduling changes. Flexibility is required in most nanny posts. Providing your nanny with information about any scheduling changes, conflicts, or upcoming appointments is essential to ensuring everyone is where they are supposed to be, when they are supposed to be.

9. Weekly meetings help avoid tension build up. In the nanny and employer relationship, addressing issues as they come up is essential. When safety issues arise, it is vital to discuss them on the spot. However, when other issues come up, however minor they may be, meeting once a week guarantees you have the opportunity to discuss them before they become bigger.

10. Weekly meetings lend themselves to an annual review. If you’ve established a pattern of meeting with your nanny regularly, you’ll naturally want to end the year with an annual performance review. In addition to discussing your nanny’s performance, during an annual review you are able to examine and amend your job description, your nannies duties and responsibilities, adjust the schedule if needed, and reward your nanny for a job well done with a bonus, along with an updated and executed work agreement.

While meeting once per week is ideal, each family and nanny will need to determine a meeting schedule that works for them.  And while some meetings may be longer than others, most parents and nannies find that 20 to 30 minutes of discussion time is sufficient. Working the meeting into your nanny’s working hours is essential, as she should be compensated for her time during this important work related activity. Some nannies and families prefer to meet by phone, once the children are asleep. If this is the case, be sure to compensate the nanny for her time.

P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Sarah Tucker. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:
 

 http://www.4nannies.com/blog/10-reasons-why-nanny-employers-should-hold-weekly-meetings-with-their-nannies/

How to Make Your Own Baby Wipes

Baby wipes have long been hailed as a godsend for parents, and many parents use them for far more than just their intended purpose. In addition to being used to clean up messy babies during a much-need diaper change, lots of parents swear by using them to wipe up messes, act as a mini-shower, and serve as tissues, paper towels, and napkins. However have you ever taken the time to look at the ingredients listed on your baby wipes packaging?  Are the ingredients listed full of words that you can’t pronounce?  Babies have sensitive skin, and the harsh ingredients in commercial wipes can irritate a baby’s soft bottom, not to mention while wipes are super convenient, they can also get pretty expensive. By making your own baby wipes you will not only save money, but you can use gentle ingredients that won’t harm or irritate your baby’s delicate skin.

Gather together the following items:

• 4 qt. round or square container with a lid (wide enough for paper towel roll to fit in and tall enough for ½ of the roll to fit)
• Roll of 2-ply paper towel (Bounty select-a-size work well)
• 2 tablespoons of baby wash
• 2 tablespoons of mineral oil (use coconut oil or vegetable oil if sensitive skin)
• 2 ½ cups of hot water
• Cutting board
• Knife

Start by cutting the roll of paper towel in half using the knife.  Pull the cardboard core out of the paper towel halves.  The last paper towel is usually glued on, but with a little work you can get it to come loose.  Place half of the paper towels into the container, cut side down.  Measure the hot water, add the baby wash and oil to the water, and stir.  Pour this mixture over the paper towels.  Put the lid on and turn the container upside down.  Allow the container to sit for about 5 minutes.  Flip container back over and now the wipes are ready to use.  Cut an “X” in the lid of the container if you’d like to pull the wipes through.  Otherwise you can just take the lid off each time.  Start pulling wipes from the center.

Since there are no preservatives in these wipes there is a chance for mold to form.  To avoid this keep them in a cool place that is out of direct sunlight.  If you are worried about mold you can add 4 drops of tea tree oil to the water before adding it to the paper towels.  Tea tree is a natural antiseptic and will help to prevent any mold from forming.

You can also customize these wipes to suit you and your baby’s needs.  It’s simple to add a few drops of lavender essential oil if you’d like to have scented wipes.  Lavender also has antiseptic properties.

Homemade wipes can also be used in your travel wipes container, or you can simply throw some in a zip top bag and go.

The savings on these wipes will vary by where you live, but on average you can save about $10 a month by making your own wipes.  Homemade wipes tend to be moister then store bought ones, so some parents think they work better as well. If the wipes seem too wet for your liking just decrease the amount of water you use the next time you make them.

 P. S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Kaitlyn Johnson   I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

 http://www.newborncare.com/blog/how-to-make-your-own-baby-wipes/

5 Things to Teach Your Child About Riding the Bus

When the time comes for your little one to begin attending school, it can be heart-wrenching to watch his tiny little form clamber up the steps of the massive school bus, knowing that he’s growing up no matter how much you may not want him to. Even though you can’t stop him from getting older, you can help him prepare for this transitional age in his life, starting with what to expect when riding the school bus. There are a wide variety of things that your little scholar should know before he takes his first school bus ride, but these five are among the most important.

1. What to Do if the Bus Is Late – While the system governing school transportation is usually an efficient and effective one, it’s important for parents and kids to understand that the system is run by human beings, who are not infallible. Buses can be late, delayed by inclement weather or other situations out of the drivers’ control. A late bus can cause children who are eagerly waiting to return home from school to panic. To prepare your children for this situation, be sure that they know what they should do and who they should contact to notify them of the situation.  Instill in them the notion that the most important thing to do is follow the instructions of their teachers and school administrators until the bus arrives. Almost all schools will have a contingency plan in place for just such an event, but your child needs to know that he will be taken care of and that the event, while new and scary to him, is one that the school staff is trained to handle.
2. Pay Attention At All Stops – Very few experiences that your child has on the bus are as disconcerting as realizing that their stop has been passed and that they’re now in unfamiliar territory. While many drivers will keep in mind that a very young, inexperienced rider could be distracted by socializing and the novelty of riding a school bus, most will only wait so long to see if a child is present for their stop before heading to the next. Sleeping children are particularly difficult for a driver to see, so your child should be taught the importance of paying attention, staying awake, and getting off at the right stop.
3. How to Follow the Rules – Though some rules can seem unnecessarily strict to young children, your child should understand that those rules are in place to protect him and ensure his safety, as well as the safety of others. Shouting, standing up, roughhousing, or otherwise misbehaving can cause him to be subjected to disciplinary action up to and including suspension of bus privileges. Your child’s school will inform you about the rules governing bus behavior and will usually include a dedicated section in the school handbook. Taking the time to go over these rules and ensuring that your child is well-versed in what is and is not allowed when riding the bus can help him avoid any disciplinary problems and ensure a safe riding experience.
4. General School Bus Safety – Kids should know general bus safety guidelines before their first bus trip to ensure that they don’t inadvertently engage in unsafe behavior. It’s important to teach your child that he should always step away from the curb as the bus is approaching, and should only walk towards it after the bus has come to a complete stop. He should also know that he should never stoop to pick up objects that have fallen under the bus, and that he should only cross the street in front of the bus and at a distance of at least ten feet to ensure that the driver can see him. The small stature and quick movements of younger children make it difficult for drivers to spot them, and also makes it harder for a child to spot oncoming vehicles and other obstacles.
5. The Dangers of Bullying – Bullying is a very serious problem, and it’s one that often occurs in the raucous environment of the school bus. Because bus drivers can have difficulty hearing everything that’s being said to an individual child over the collective din of many little voices, you simply cannot rely on the bus driver’s ability to detect and prevent bullying. Your child should understand the dangers of being a bully themselves, and know what to do if they’re the victim of bullying from other children on the bus. Letting him know that he can always tell an adult about any problems that he’s having or difficulties he’s forced to endure on the school bus is very important, because he may feel as if he has nowhere to turn if he becomes a target of school bus bullies.

To get children prepared for their first trip on the school bus, role play various scenarios and talk about what to expect from the trip. Be sure to include everything from boarding the bus, to paying attention at each stop, to exiting the bus safely, and everything that could happen in between.

 

P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Molly Cunningham.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

 

 http://www.liveinnanny.com/blog/5-things-to-teach-your-child-about-riding-the-bus/

7 Things That Makes Nannies Fit In With Their Families

Being in this industry you have got to fit in people’s lives and in their family. Because once I don’t fit in with that family I am replaceable. – Justin
As I’ve tuned into Season 1 of Beverly Hills Nannies, perhaps no other words have been spoken as eloquently and accurately as these words by Nanny Justin in episode 5.
When nannies are seeking employment and parents are seeking caregivers for their children, the importance of finding the right nanny and family match is often overlooked. While of course a nanny’s experience, education, background, and references are essential in helping to determine if she is capable of providing quality childcare, these things don’t necessarily tell you how well a nanny is going to fit into the lives of the family with whom she’ll work.
So what makes a nanny fit in with her work family?
Lifestyle. While a nanny doesn’t necessarily have to share her work family’s lifestyle, she definitely has to embrace it for the relationship to work out. A nanny doesn’t have to be wealthy to work in Beverly Hills, but she certainly has to be comfortable working in an upscale environment where cutting coupons and penny pinching may not be allowed.  When a nanny and employer begin to judge each other’s lifestyle choices, tension will arise.
Parenting Philosophy. In any nanny and parent relationship, the parents are the final authority on how their children are raised. If a nanny believes children need limits and boundaries and the parents believe that children should never be told no, it will be difficult for the nanny to adapt and embrace the parent’s philosophy of childrearing. When the parents and nanny don’t share a similar parenting philosophy, conflict can occur.
Discipline Style.  If the parents are laid back, lax about house rules, and allow the children to speak to the nanny as they please, but the nanny prefers doling out time-outs for inappropriate behavior, stress will ensue.  Children strive with consistency of care, and when the nanny and parents aren’t on the same page there will be friction in the family home.
Moral Compass. Parents don’t necessarily want a clone of themselves helping to raise their children, but they do want someone who has the same perceptions of right and wrong and good and evil as they do. When the nanny and parents aren’t in moral alignment, the relationship can become strained. If a nanny is a huge supporter of PETA and feels that wearing fur is terribly wrong, and the family’s winter outdoor wardrobe consists of mink jackets and fox gloves, there’s going to be ill feelings.
Culture.  Nannies don’t have to share the same culture as their employing families, but they do have to respect the ideas, beliefs, and behaviors of the family for the relationship to succeed. A lack of acceptance of the family’s culture may lead to a lack of respect. Without mutual respect, the nanny and parent relationship will fail.
Commonalities. Nannies and parents don’t have to have everything in common, but those who do share some things in common are typically most comfortable around each other. Whether it is knowing the same people, practicing the same religion, driving the same kind of car, or having the same life priorities, generally speaking, the more the parents and nanny share in common, the better.
Value. Nannies fit into their families by meeting a felt need. When the need is met by the nanny, she brings value to the family. As the needs of the family change, the nanny must adapt and continue to meet the family’s changing needs. If the nanny doesn’t meet the family’s needs, she no longer brings value to the family and is viewed as replaceable.
Nannies who are not only skilled caregivers, but also fit into the lives of their work families seamlessly, typically tend to stay with their work family for several years and are viewed by them as indispensable. Once they no longer fit in, however, whether it is due to a change in the family’s circumstance, situation, or needs, they are considered more easily replaceable.
Fitting in with a work family is essential to employment success. Before nannies take on a new position and families a new nanny, the nanny and parents should be confident that the nanny will fit in well with the family and that they are truly a good match.

P. S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Abby Nelson. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

 http://www.nannyclassifieds.com/blog/7-things-that-makes-nannies-fit-in-with-their-families/