How to Snoop on Your Kid While He’s Online

As kids approach adolescence, their need for privacy and insistence upon keeping parts of their life away from the prying eyes of a parent can make it difficult to monitor their activity. With the advent of smartphones that allow your child to carry the Internet around with him in his pocket, the need to make sure that he’s not getting into online trouble can feel even greater. While it’s usually more effective to attempt an open dialogue about what is and is not considered appropriate online behavior before resorting to spy-level surveillance, there may be times when snooping feels like the only choice.

Monitoring Software

Even less than tech-savvy parents can learn to navigate parental monitoring software, which is designed to run in the background and be undetectable by users. There are several varieties of monitoring programs, all with different features and levels of functionality. One thing that they all have in common is an ability to reveal all the things your child is doing online when you’re not there to look over his shoulder.

Limit Computer Use to Common Areas

If you’ve opted not to give your child a web-capable smartphone or a laptop, then you may find it easier to snoop while he’s online if the main computer is located in a high-traffic area of your home. When your child knows that a simple glance his way could reveal questionable web content he’s viewing, he’s more likely to think twice about what he looks up. Not only will you be able to keep an eye on what your child is looking at, but you’ll also be able to influence him into making better choices based solely on your nearby presence.

Check Your Browser History

Older kids with more advanced computer knowledge may be savvy enough to delete their browser history, but younger kids and tweens may not yet have the required know-how. After your child uses the computer, take a moment to scroll through the browser history. You’ll be able to access all of the pages your child has recently viewed, allowing you to get a good idea of what areas need to be addressed most.

Fake Social Networking Profiles

If your children haven’t deleted you from their Facebook friends list yet, there’s a strong possibility that they’ve learned to manipulate the safety and security settings so that they can block what you’re able to see. One way to make sure that you’re seeing everything posted on your child’s timeline and every interaction he has is to sign up for your own fake profile and use it to add your child. Unless he’s naturally suspicious of strangers, he probably won’t block the visibility of his posts to a new friend.

Keystroke Recording Software

Every email, every message and every web search can be recalled with a keystroke recorder, along with your child’s passwords. If you have a serious reason to believe that something is wrong and you’ll need to be able to confront your child with concrete evidence to make a difference, keystroke software may be the way to go. Be warned, however, that a child who’s not actually involved in questionable activities will almost certainly feel that she has no privacy or grounds for trusting her parents. In the event of an emergency, these programs can be quite valuable tools for parents.

Webcam Monitoring

There are ways to remotely view everything the webcam in your child’s computer sees, but it’s wise to think long and hard before resorting to such things. No invasion of privacy is as personal or as upsetting as being actively watched when you’re not aware of it. Furthermore, there are some sights a parent just doesn’t need to see.

Smartphone Apps

Do you want to track your child’s movements with an online GPS service connected to his phone or block content he’s able to view with the device? There are a slew of kid-monitoring apps available for smartphones that can help you keep tabs on your child when he’s away from home.

These methods will help you track and monitor what your kids are doing online, but there is no app or program to replace the trust that is almost certain to be lost when your child discovers the depth of your investigation. Before resorting to underhanded means of finding out what your youngster is up to, you may want to attempt having an open, judgment-free conversation about boundaries,

 appropriate behavior and the implications of being careless on the Internet.

This post was suggested to me for publication by Lindsay Samuels. If you want to know more about this very sensitive subject, please go the sight linked below

http://nannybackgroundcheck.com/blog/how-to-snoop-on-your-kid-while-hes-online/

 appropriate behavior and the implications of being careless on the Internet.33

Tips For Teaching Kids About Compassion

Helping your child learn to feel compassion and empathy for others is one of the most important lessons you can instill in them as a parent. As bullying and cruelty become more prevalent, and children and teens are resorting to extremes to find relief from the torment of their peers, helping your child to understand how important it is to respect the feelings of others can make a very real difference in the world around her. While it’s not always easy to help a child grasp such an abstract concept, there are steps you can take, as a family, to make the concept of being compassionate more understandable.

• Model Compassionate Behavior – Just as your child learns to mimic your mannerisms and speech patterns, she’ll also take most of her cues about how to treat her peers, elders, animals and the environment from you as well. Making a conscious effort to model compassionate, altruistic behavior in everyday life is one of the most effective ways of ensuring that your child also learns to behave in such a manner. When your child sees you treat the world around you with compassion, she will instinctively follow the shining example you’ve set for her.
• Take Opportunities to Talk about Caring for Others – When your child is confronted with images of violence, cruelty or bullying through television, movies and even her everyday interactions with the world, it’s important to take the opportunity to talk about how she thinks the victims of those actions feel and how she might be able to help. With these examples to examine as points of reference, a largely abstract notion can become more concrete and easier to understand. Take the time to discuss empathy and compassion every day, especially when events or images bring the issue to the forefront.
• Volunteer as a Family – Spending time as a family performing volunteer work can give your child not only an up close and personal view of compassion and empathy in action, but also the satisfied feeling that comes with making a positive difference in the world. Making an effort to choose volunteer activities based upon your child’s existing interests, the age-appropriateness of the tasks involved, and her ability to immediately see a perceptible difference due to her actions can help your child understand that helping others is both important and rewarding. Working together as a family can also strengthen bonds, give you an opportunity to continuously model compassionate behavior, create talking points for later discussion, and allow you to monitor what she’s exposed to in the course of her volunteer work.
• Teach Kids to Stand Up to Bullying – While your child should understand that it’s never acceptable to approach a bully in a confrontational or violent manner, and that retaliation isn’t a solution to the problem of bullying, you should also encourage her to make an effort to stand up to school bullies in a compassionate and productive way. Reporting harassment of another child to school authorities, making an effort to befriend children that aren’t easily accepted by their peers, and never engaging in bullying activities are all effective ways of combating the problem without retaliation. It’s also important to explain that standing aside and doing nothing to assist a victim of bullying or laughing at cruel pranks is the same as condoning the treatment her classmate is receiving.
• Donate Outgrown Toys and Clothes – When your child outgrows her toys and clothing while they’re still in serviceable shape, it’s a good idea to get her involved in the sorting and packing process, and then let her accompany you when you go to make a donation. Seeing that the belongings she no longer needs are finding good use in a needy home can instill the importance of charitable giving, and ease any pangs of separation anxiety she feels.
• Practice Random Acts of Kindness – Keeping your eyes open for small acts of unexpected kindness that you and your child can perform together can not only help her understand the concept of altruism, but can also help to make it an everyday practice. Look for ways that you and your child can help whenever you’re out together; in no time, she’ll be spotting potential random acts of kindness herself.

While it’s not always a popular notion with harried parents, allowing your child to keep a pet can provide her with an everyday incentive to be compassionate and caring for a living being that needs her help to survive. Smaller pets, like fish or hamsters, can be just as effective as dogs or cats. Depending on your living situation and schedule constraints, adopting a pet for your child to take responsibility for can be another very effective way of passing along a lesson in compassion.

 P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Martina Keyhell. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

 http://www.becomeananny.com/blog/tips-for-teaching-kids-about-compassion/

Separation Anxiety in the Early Elementary School Child

Separation anxiety is a common occurrence in young children just beginning school, especially those that have never attended daycare or been regularly left in the care of a childcare provider outside of the family. Though it can be painful for both parents and children to leave each other at first, separation anxiety is usually overcome as a child becomes more accustomed to her new routine. When separation anxiety persists well beyond preschool or kindergarten and into the early elementary school years, however, it may indicate a more serious problem than run of the mill separation anxiety. There are several common causes for difficulty separating in elementary aged children that parents of struggling children may want to take into consideration.

• School Phobia – Children that become visibly anxious or exhibit a fear of going to school may be suffering from a more severe anxiety disorder known as school phobia, which can manifest as persistent separation anxiety. If your child has frequent stomachaches, nausea, diarrhea, or headaches that aren’t connected to an actual illness when school is mentioned, he may be suffering from school phobia. This condition is also called school avoidance or school refusal, terms that seem to imply a simple distaste for school. For some children, this anxiety can dissipate on its own as a routine is established and fears prove to be unfounded. The issue can also be an early indication of anxiety disorders and may negatively impact your child’s academic performance. Should his ability to keep up with his class result from frequent school avoidance, it may become even more stressful to attend class as fears that his delays will be discovered by his classmates begin to exacerbate his anxiety. Consulting your child’s pediatrician to determine if his separation anxiety is rooted in school phobia and discussing the matter with your child can help you determine the best course of action.
• Personal Trauma – Divorce, the death of a loved one, or other traumatic changes in your child’s life can make the idea of being separated from remaining caregivers a repellent one, even for short periods of time. If your child’s separation anxiety began to present itself after a traumatic event, that event could be the underlying cause of his reluctance to be separated from you. Working with your child’s doctor or a specializing therapist to manage these feelings and help him overcome the trauma is usually the best way to resolve any lingering separation anxiety.
• Abuse or Bullying – A child that shows marked anxiety about attending school but refuses to explain why he’s reluctant to be separated from a loved and trusted caregiver may be the victim of bullying, either from classmates or older students in his school. Look for signs of bullying, and approach the subject with your child carefully to determine if this is the cause of his anxiety. Similarly, a child who shows little compunction about attending school but is visibly upset at the prospect of being left in after-school care may be suffering from abuse at the hands of a caregiver. Before leveling accusations of abuse at your child’s caregiver, however, you should remember that such allegations can be personally and professionally devastating, even if proven false in the end. You should be absolutely certain that your child is being abused before filing charges or accusing his childcare provider of harming him, but it is a possibility you should consider if his behavior is erratic and his separation anxiety seems to manifest only at certain times.
• Academic Struggles – When a child is struggling to keep up with his class or feels overwhelmed by the academic demands placed on him at school, even at an early age, fear of discovery and humiliation can present itself as severe separation anxiety. If your child hysterically protests being separated from a loving parent and an environment that feels safe and you’re aware of any difficulty with schoolwork, it’s wise to consider the possibility that his anxiety is a result of his struggle to keep up. Many learning disorders can be managed, but the ability to manage them depends upon a diagnosis. To determine whether or not your child’s separation anxiety is a symptom of a learning disorder that affects his academic performance, you should consult with his teacher, a counselor and your pediatrician.
• Separation Anxiety Disorder – While traditional separation anxiety is considered a normal developmental milestone for babies and toddlers, separation anxiety disorder is an actual illness that presents itself in older children. Distress upon separation, persistent worry that future events will lead to a permanent separation from a loved one, and irrational concerns that a parent or loved one will die or meet a terrible fate while they’re out of a child’s sight are all indicators that the child is suffering from separation anxiety disorder. If your child exhibits signs of anxiety upon being separated under any circumstances, such as sleeping in their own bedroom or visiting a friend’s house, it’s important that you discuss the matter with his doctor to ensure that he gets the right treatment to manage his symptoms.

Determining whether your child is suffering from run-of-the-mill separation anxiety at a relatively late age or whether his stress is the result of an underlying problem can be challenging without the help of a medical professional. Addressing these problems early can help you and your family better manage the symptoms, dramatically improving the quality of life for everyone involved.

  P. S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Barbara Williams.   I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.findababysitter.org/blog/separation-anxiety-in-the-early-elementary-school-child/ 

10 Ways Kids Can Help Prepare Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving is all about family and spending time together.  Generations often share the kitchen while creating some of the best tasting dishes.  Bring the kids into the kitchen this year and help them learn about some of your family’s traditional Thanksgiving recipes.  From toddlers to teens, there’s something everyone can do to help out.

1. Lay out the bread to dry. Many stuffing recipes require stale bread.  Have your child set the bread out on the counter. Once it’s stale, allow him to break up the bread and dump in premeasured spices. 
2. Wash the vegetables for the crudité platter.  Serve a platter of crudité with some dip for guests to snack on.  Kids can wash the veggies and drain some pickles and olives before putting them onto a platter.
3. Peel the potatoes. Around ages 8 to 10, most kids can use a potato peeler with supervision.  Teach her how to use the peeler than observe her in action before leaving her to the task.
4. Add the marshmallows to the top of the sweet potatoes. Kids may enjoy the simple task of adding marshmallows to the top of the sweet potatoes, while sneaking a few as a snack, of course.  When kids help prepare a dish they feel connected to it and may be more likely to try it.
5. Make some whipped honey butter. Allow a stick of butter to sit out until it reaches room temperature.  Have her add the butter, along with some honey, to a mixing bowl.  A couple of tablespoons worth are enough.  Add a few spoonfuls of powdered sugar and turn on the mixer.  Once blended, scoop the finished product into a pretty bowl and it’s ready to serve.
6. Toss the salad. There are several ways kids can help create the dinner salad.  Let him tear the lettuce into bite-sized pieces, rinse it off and toss it into the salad spinner. Once he spins the lettuce dry he can add in the rest of the ingredients, including the dressing. Have him toss the salad and set it on the table.
7. Set the table. Depending on their age kids can set the entire table Thanksgiving table independently or set out items as you direct. Draw a table setting on a piece of paper. Your child can use the paper as a place setting guide.
8. Plan the meal. Letting young ones help plan the menu for the big day will not only allow them to feel part of the celebration, but it may get them to try more types of food. Ask your children what vegetables they’d like to see on the menu and work together to find something appropriate to include.
9. Snap green beans. Green bean casserole is a traditional dish served at many Thanksgiving feasts. Have the kids snap the ends of the beans that you’ll use in the casserole. Parents and kids can race to see who can finish snapping the ends off of their pile of beans that fastest.
10. Mashing potatoes. Another traditional dish at the Thanksgiving table is mashed potatoes.  After the potatoes are boiled, kids can use a hand masher to help mash the potatoes up. 

Consider what meal preparation tasks are age-appropriate for each child in your family. Assign each child at least one responsibility. The more involved kids feel, the more excited they’ll be about sharing Thanksgiving dinner together.

  P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Kathleen Crislip.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.nannycare.org/blog/10-ways-kids-can-help-prepare-thanksgiving-dinner/