10 Ways to Scare Away a Good Nanny

So you’ve found the perfect nanny for your family and are ready to begin your nanny employer relationship. The hard work is over, right? Wrong. Like any relationship, the nanny and employer one will take a focused effort to build and maintain. While most nannies are dedicated and loyal employees, there are a few things that can really make them question their decision to accept employment with a family.  As you move forward in your nanny employer relationship, strive to draw your nanny closer, not scare her away.

To keep the relationship moving forward, avoid doing these 10 things that are likely to scare your nanny away.

1. Use forceful language. When it comes to your nanny, the old adage is true: sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it. While you’re the boss and you get to call the shots, work to ensure that your interactions with your nanny are respectful and considerate. Instead of saying “I’ll be late and I need you to stay,” say “I’m really sorry to be running late. If you could stay an extra 30 minutes, it would be a huge help.” Being aggressive or forceful may lead your nanny to wonder what she’s gotten herself into.

2. Talk down to her. Speaking to your nanny like she has potatoes for brains won’t earn you the nanny employer of the year award. Saying things like “Let me put this in simple terms for you” when giving instructions, or responding to your nanny by saying “We already thought of that” when she makes a suggestion, conveys an “I’m better than you attitude.” A condescending attitude does nothing but make your nanny feel like you think she’s stupid. But don’t worry, nannies who are treated this way tend to smarten up quickly… and leave their positions.

3. Expect her to clean up after your mess. Unless your nanny specifically agreed to take on housekeeping duties, don’t expect her to clean up after you. While most nannies will go above and beyond to ensure that their work space is cleaner when they leave than when they came in, taking advantage of your nanny could send her straight for the door.

4. Volunteer her to do things without asking her first. Volunteering your nanny to care for your visiting family’s children or committing your nanny to be in charge of the carpool without asking her first is asking for trouble. While most nannies are more than happy to go above and beyond and pitch in wherever needed, it’s the not asking them before volunteering them that drives them nuts. If you keep volunteering your nanny for things without giving her advance warning, it will result in her volunteering to help find you a new nanny.

5. Appear unapproachable. Telling your nanny “I don’t have time to talk to you right now” or asking your assistant to take a message whenever your nanny calls you at work sends the message that what she has to say is not important. Successful nanny and employer relationships are based on open and honest communication. If you don’t encourage communication and instead turn your nanny down whenever she tries to speak to you, you’re sending the message that you don’t value what she has to say. If you constantly show your nanny that you don’t care about her thoughts, eventually she’ll question how much she cares about working for you.

6. Call every five minutes. Nanny employers should absolutely make it a point to check in with their nanny in some form every day. But when parents call their nanny every few minutes all day, every day (which some really do), it sends the message to your nanny that she is not trusted. Nanny and employer relationships are built on trust. If a nanny doesn’t feel like she is able to gain your trust, she may consider finding a family whose trust she can more easily obtain.

7. Become infected with nanny envy. Feeling jealous that your nanny gets to spend time having fun with your child is only normal and natural. What’s not is constantly reminding your nanny that you are jealous of her. Repeatedly saying things like “I’m so sad my child loves you more” or “I wish there was a way I could stay home” may lead your nanny to believe that you may be thinking about staying home. If a nanny feels like her job may be in jeopardy because you’re having a hard time dealing with jealousy, she may start looking for a new one.

8. Friend her on Facebook. Your nanny has a life separate from her workplace and, chances are, she would really like to keep it that way. While being your nanny’s Facebook friend may seem like the reasonable thing for you to do, to some nannies it may be interpreted as “nanny stalking.” If your nanny feels like you are trying to keep tabs on her outside of the workplace, she may feel uncomfortable enough to reconsider working for you.

9. Get a new pet, without mentioning it first. While at first it may seem like getting a family pet has no impact on your nanny’s duties and responsibilities, the reality is that it does. If your nanny shows up to work on Monday morning and is greeted by a new puppy, it may be the last Monday she shows up.  As the only adult home, your nanny will be left with no choice but to reinforce training, to feed the puppy, and to clean up after it. If you decide to purchase a puppy over the weekend, be sure to purchase the services of doggy daycare with it, at least until you talk to your nanny.

10. Refuse to pay her when your plans change.  Nannies are typically paid 52 weeks per year. If you opt to go on a family vacation and leave your nanny at home, you are still responsible for paying her. If you decide to take a day off and call your nanny to tell her she doesn’t need to come in that day, your nanny deserves to be paid. When your nanny is available to work and, by no fault of her own, you decide not to use her services, she should be paid. Messing with your nanny’s paycheck is a surefire way to welcome conflict into your relationship. Most nannies have caring personalities and, by nature, don’t enjoy conflict. Rather than engaging in a battle of wills, your nanny many instead opt to walk away. Literally.

Most nannies want to grow close to their employers, and value their working relationships. They also value job security, and typically will do most anything to make a relationship work out. As you move forward in your nanny and employer relationship, be cautious about doing things that could push your nanny away. If you push your good nanny too far away, chances are, you could end up pushing her away for good.

P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Abby Nelson.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.nannyclassifieds.com/blog/10-ways-to-scare-away-a-good-nanny/ 

And then four crows will fly away- third part

-“The same day I knew by my teacher that I was the only heir of my mother’s estates, and that since the day of her death, whose he had been the honest and prudent administrator , as he would show to me in his detailed account. That man, I had so much hated and blamed, now that his ungrateful charge had come to end, seemed to me good and comprehensive, and his words calmed for a few time my incurable pain. By now, however, I had also to think about my life, and in those places I would never succeeded in shaking off me my sad past. I begged the reverend to continue to administer my goods and I departed, to the discovery of the world. I travelled at first through the United States, then I went to Canada, Australia, New Zealand. After I visited Europe, without never finding the courage to return to my country. Tired of the European Countries, among which I mostly liked your Italy , I departed to India and finally, always curious of new lands, I went to Africa. Neither women, neither alcohol, nor drugs not even the vices which I was devoted in those years succeeded in cancelling my bitter memoirs, until one day, while I was sojourning in Kenya, I fell ill, prey of strong fevers. Not a lot, then I gave, to live or die, but the Fate, had evidently prepared, that I survived, so that the programs could be realized, whose I will have the honor and the pleasure to communicate to you. Revealed therefore from the illness, I returned to America aiming however to south, that I had not visited yet. Going up again homeward, I stayed for a long time in Mexico, that not little fascinated me. By now being satisfied my curiosity of the world, I preferred to take over again my studies, more strongly and surely than before. I was akin of all: medicine, biology, physics, mathematics, chemistry, hidden sciences, illusionism, magic arts, engineering, electronics, astrology, philosophy, astronomy, sociology, anthropology, theology, ethnology, history, juridical, economic and political sciences and every other thing attracted my mind curious of reaching new knowledge. During the numerous years of my following study, it happened on me a gradual mutation that flowed, hitherto a short time, in a great, bright revelation. I had realized, deepening on studies that any single subject lost, little by little, until vanish, its own contours and that all acquired information met in a bubbly melting pot, to form just one, immense nucleus of knowledge. Yes, dear friends: our knowledge is an original, total unity. The single disciplines of human knowledge are but the infinitesimally small fragments that the mankind looks hopelessly for recomposing in to the aboriginal unity. Two were the necessary consequent corollaries to this thrilling discovery. The first one is that the brain of both animal and human beings constitutes, though at a different evolutionary stadium, a microscopic part of the primordial totality. The second is that human thought search, yet in a blind and messy manner, to recompose, at a mental level, the great, primitive explosion, the Big-Bang, through a long and fatiguing marching back, up to the innumerable light years that separate it, from an equal, roaring and powerful implosion. And if you consider that our mind speculates in the space-time as fast as speed-light, this kind of final Big-Imbang will appear less far than any hasty forecast.

 From the original ignazio s. basile's  italian novel.  English version by the same author
...to be continued...

Separation Anxiety in the Early Elementary School Child

Separation anxiety is a common occurrence in young children just beginning school, especially those that have never attended daycare or been regularly left in the care of a childcare provider outside of the family. Though it can be painful for both parents and children to leave each other at first, separation anxiety is usually overcome as a child becomes more accustomed to her new routine. When separation anxiety persists well beyond preschool or kindergarten and into the early elementary school years, however, it may indicate a more serious problem than run of the mill separation anxiety. There are several common causes for difficulty separating in elementary aged children that parents of struggling children may want to take into consideration.

• School Phobia – Children that become visibly anxious or exhibit a fear of going to school may be suffering from a more severe anxiety disorder known as school phobia, which can manifest as persistent separation anxiety. If your child has frequent stomachaches, nausea, diarrhea, or headaches that aren’t connected to an actual illness when school is mentioned, he may be suffering from school phobia. This condition is also called school avoidance or school refusal, terms that seem to imply a simple distaste for school. For some children, this anxiety can dissipate on its own as a routine is established and fears prove to be unfounded. The issue can also be an early indication of anxiety disorders and may negatively impact your child’s academic performance. Should his ability to keep up with his class result from frequent school avoidance, it may become even more stressful to attend class as fears that his delays will be discovered by his classmates begin to exacerbate his anxiety. Consulting your child’s pediatrician to determine if his separation anxiety is rooted in school phobia and discussing the matter with your child can help you determine the best course of action.
• Personal Trauma – Divorce, the death of a loved one, or other traumatic changes in your child’s life can make the idea of being separated from remaining caregivers a repellent one, even for short periods of time. If your child’s separation anxiety began to present itself after a traumatic event, that event could be the underlying cause of his reluctance to be separated from you. Working with your child’s doctor or a specializing therapist to manage these feelings and help him overcome the trauma is usually the best way to resolve any lingering separation anxiety.
• Abuse or Bullying – A child that shows marked anxiety about attending school but refuses to explain why he’s reluctant to be separated from a loved and trusted caregiver may be the victim of bullying, either from classmates or older students in his school. Look for signs of bullying, and approach the subject with your child carefully to determine if this is the cause of his anxiety. Similarly, a child who shows little compunction about attending school but is visibly upset at the prospect of being left in after-school care may be suffering from abuse at the hands of a caregiver. Before leveling accusations of abuse at your child’s caregiver, however, you should remember that such allegations can be personally and professionally devastating, even if proven false in the end. You should be absolutely certain that your child is being abused before filing charges or accusing his childcare provider of harming him, but it is a possibility you should consider if his behavior is erratic and his separation anxiety seems to manifest only at certain times.
• Academic Struggles – When a child is struggling to keep up with his class or feels overwhelmed by the academic demands placed on him at school, even at an early age, fear of discovery and humiliation can present itself as severe separation anxiety. If your child hysterically protests being separated from a loving parent and an environment that feels safe and you’re aware of any difficulty with schoolwork, it’s wise to consider the possibility that his anxiety is a result of his struggle to keep up. Many learning disorders can be managed, but the ability to manage them depends upon a diagnosis. To determine whether or not your child’s separation anxiety is a symptom of a learning disorder that affects his academic performance, you should consult with his teacher, a counselor and your pediatrician.
• Separation Anxiety Disorder – While traditional separation anxiety is considered a normal developmental milestone for babies and toddlers, separation anxiety disorder is an actual illness that presents itself in older children. Distress upon separation, persistent worry that future events will lead to a permanent separation from a loved one, and irrational concerns that a parent or loved one will die or meet a terrible fate while they’re out of a child’s sight are all indicators that the child is suffering from separation anxiety disorder. If your child exhibits signs of anxiety upon being separated under any circumstances, such as sleeping in their own bedroom or visiting a friend’s house, it’s important that you discuss the matter with his doctor to ensure that he gets the right treatment to manage his symptoms.

Determining whether your child is suffering from run-of-the-mill separation anxiety at a relatively late age or whether his stress is the result of an underlying problem can be challenging without the help of a medical professional. Addressing these problems early can help you and your family better manage the symptoms, dramatically improving the quality of life for everyone involved.

  P. S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Barbara Williams.   I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.findababysitter.org/blog/separation-anxiety-in-the-early-elementary-school-child/ 

30 of the Best Blogs About Saving for College

Without a college education, a young person’s prospects for a reasonably secure job that pays well can be dramatically reduced. The cost of a degree, however, can be almost prohibitive for some families. Thankfully, there are several methods of saving for college and finding outside financial aid that can make the dream of an advanced education a reality. The following 30 blog entries discuss various methods of financing a college education without completely destroying the family budget.
529 College Savings Plans
Named after section 529 of the Internal Revenue Code that created such plans in 1996, a 529 Plan is designed to help families set money aside for use towards future education costs. Almost every state currently has at least one 529 plan available, but the particulars can differ from state to state. Before beginning to invest, it’s a good idea to research the features of 529 plans in your individual state.

• Coverdell ESA vs. 529 Plan Comparison Chart
• Is Your 529 Plan Robbing You Blind?
• Key Benefits of College 529 Plans
• How to Save for College: 529 Plans and More!
• Education Funding: Unraveling the Mystery of 529 Plans

Certificate of Deposit
A certificate of deposit, commonly referred to as a CD, is a risk-free savings plan insured by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corporation or the National Credit Union Administration for banks and credit unions, respectively. CDs are designed to be held until the end of a fixed term, at which time they’ve “matured” and money can be withdrawn, along with all of the interest accrued over that term. These five blog entries discuss the ins and outs of CD as a savings method.

• How do Certificates of Deposit Work?
• How to Use Certificate of Deposits as Part of Your College Savings Strategy
• Saving for College with a Safety Net
• Certificate of Deposit?
• What is a Certificate of Deposit (CD)?

Money Market Accounts
Banks and credit unions offer money market accounts, which are similar to standard savings accounts in many ways. The major difference between the two is that a money market account typically pays a higher interest rate with a higher minimum balance requirement. Most money market accounts also allow only three to six withdrawals each month, which is typically a non-issue for families using the plan solely as a method of saving for college. These plans are also insured by the FDIC, making them a safer alternative to higher-risk, higher-yield methods.

• Differences Between a Savings Account and a Money Market Account
• An Introduction to Money Market Accounts & How to Find The Best Rates
• Top Savings & Money Market Rates with Rate Guarantees
• Savings Vs. Money Market Account
• How to Choose a Money Market Account

I Savings Bonds
Once upon a time, savings bonds were paper securities sold at financial institutions as low-risk, liquid savings products. While the U.S. Treasury no longer offers paper savings bonds as part of their ongoing effort to increase electronic transactions, you can still purchase savings bonds to help finance a child’s education. In these five blog entries, I Bonds are discussed at greater length.

• Savings Bonds
• Saving For College With Savings Bonds?
• How Do I Use Savings Bonds for College Expenses?
• Beat Inflation With I Bonds
• Potential Unique Advantages of Savings I-Bonds

Offsetting Tuition Expenses with Scholarships and Grants
Depending upon your child’s athletic or scholastic aptitude, you may find that qualifying for and receiving partial or even full scholarships is easier than you realized. For some families, government grants are also a possibility. Offsetting some of your child’s tuition costs with scholarships and grants can make your existing savings stretch farther, as discussed in these five blog entries.

• Arne on Cost of College and Pell Grants
• 25 Grants and Scholarships for College Students
• Paying For College: Financial Aid In America, In 2 Graphics
• Paying for College with Scholarships & Grants
• Develop Strategy to Land College Scholarships

Student Loans
Sometimes, despite parents’ best efforts, the college funds they’ve set aside for their children simply aren’t enough to cover all of the expenses. In such cases, especially when grants and scholarships aren’t an option, student loans may be the only choice. These five blogs tackle the issue of student loans, offering valuable insights and information.

• The Average Student Loan: An Overview
• Income Based Repayment: Everything You Need to Know
• Understanding Student Loans in Real Terms
• Student Loans
• Why I Decided to Consolidate My Student Loans

 P. S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Carol Watson.   I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.nationalnannies.com/blog/30-of-the-best-blogs-about-saving-for-college/ 

10 Ways Kids Can Help Prepare Thanksgiving Dinner

Thanksgiving is all about family and spending time together.  Generations often share the kitchen while creating some of the best tasting dishes.  Bring the kids into the kitchen this year and help them learn about some of your family’s traditional Thanksgiving recipes.  From toddlers to teens, there’s something everyone can do to help out.

1. Lay out the bread to dry. Many stuffing recipes require stale bread.  Have your child set the bread out on the counter. Once it’s stale, allow him to break up the bread and dump in premeasured spices. 
2. Wash the vegetables for the crudité platter.  Serve a platter of crudité with some dip for guests to snack on.  Kids can wash the veggies and drain some pickles and olives before putting them onto a platter.
3. Peel the potatoes. Around ages 8 to 10, most kids can use a potato peeler with supervision.  Teach her how to use the peeler than observe her in action before leaving her to the task.
4. Add the marshmallows to the top of the sweet potatoes. Kids may enjoy the simple task of adding marshmallows to the top of the sweet potatoes, while sneaking a few as a snack, of course.  When kids help prepare a dish they feel connected to it and may be more likely to try it.
5. Make some whipped honey butter. Allow a stick of butter to sit out until it reaches room temperature.  Have her add the butter, along with some honey, to a mixing bowl.  A couple of tablespoons worth are enough.  Add a few spoonfuls of powdered sugar and turn on the mixer.  Once blended, scoop the finished product into a pretty bowl and it’s ready to serve.
6. Toss the salad. There are several ways kids can help create the dinner salad.  Let him tear the lettuce into bite-sized pieces, rinse it off and toss it into the salad spinner. Once he spins the lettuce dry he can add in the rest of the ingredients, including the dressing. Have him toss the salad and set it on the table.
7. Set the table. Depending on their age kids can set the entire table Thanksgiving table independently or set out items as you direct. Draw a table setting on a piece of paper. Your child can use the paper as a place setting guide.
8. Plan the meal. Letting young ones help plan the menu for the big day will not only allow them to feel part of the celebration, but it may get them to try more types of food. Ask your children what vegetables they’d like to see on the menu and work together to find something appropriate to include.
9. Snap green beans. Green bean casserole is a traditional dish served at many Thanksgiving feasts. Have the kids snap the ends of the beans that you’ll use in the casserole. Parents and kids can race to see who can finish snapping the ends off of their pile of beans that fastest.
10. Mashing potatoes. Another traditional dish at the Thanksgiving table is mashed potatoes.  After the potatoes are boiled, kids can use a hand masher to help mash the potatoes up. 

Consider what meal preparation tasks are age-appropriate for each child in your family. Assign each child at least one responsibility. The more involved kids feel, the more excited they’ll be about sharing Thanksgiving dinner together.

  P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Kathleen Crislip.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.nannycare.org/blog/10-ways-kids-can-help-prepare-thanksgiving-dinner/ 

9 Ways to Prevent the Spread of Germs Among Siblings

In a house with more than one child, keeping a viral or bacterial illness confined solely to the child originally infected can mean the difference between caring for one sick child and several. The process can also be a quite challenging one, due to the fact that even unwell children tend to be very mobile and aren’t always sure how they should manage their symptoms in such a way that limits contagion. In the interest of containing the spread of illnesses and preventing transmission between siblings, here are nine tips and tricks that may help you ensure the good health of the rest of the family.

1. Enforce a Strict Hand Washing Policy – While it may seem painfully obvious, making sure that kids wash their hands regularly and properly is one of the most effective means of reducing the spread of any bacteria or viruses that cause illness. Insisting that your kids wash their hands often and well, especially when a member of the family is ill, can help to keep everyone else healthy.
2. Teach Kids to Sneeze or Cough into Their Elbows – Teaching your child to cover his mouth when he sneezes or coughs might be polite thing to do, but it’s ultimately useless if he does so and then forgets to wash his hands. Every surface he touches after a sneeze could end up coated in germs, so it’s best to teach your children to sneeze into the crook of their elbow, where contact with people and surfaces is less likely.
3. Sanitize Shared Toys – Sanitizing toys that a sick child shares with healthy siblings in a solution of bleach and water can kill any lingering germs that may be lurking on them. It’s wise to get into the habit of regularly sanitizing toys during cold and flu season, even when everyone in the family is healthy, to prevent contagion before it starts.
4. Wipe Down Common Surfaces – When a sick child lounges on the couch and channel surfs all day, he’s almost certainly transferring germs from his hands to the remote. Wiping down common surfaces and items that you know a sick child has been handling with antibacterial wipes can help to kill germs before healthy children pick them up.
5. Pay Extra Attention to Bathroom Surfaces – Illnesses with gastrointestinal symptoms may leave your bathroom laden with viruses and harmful bacteria, while cold and flu symptoms can introduce germs to faucet and toilet handles. Make a point of paying extra attention to the surfaces in a bathroom, especially a shared one, when one child is sick and his siblings aren’t showing any signs of illness.
6. Make Sure Tissues Are Thrown Away – Suffering from a runny nose on top of a host of other symptoms not only generates a pile of tissues, but also might cause even a normally fastidious child to leave those germ-filled tissues lying around. Contact with one of those tissues is a surefire way of transmitting illness, so make sure that your little one has a wastebasket nearby for his discarded tissues.
7. Keep Kids Apart as Much as Possible – While it simply isn’t feasible to completely quarantine a sick child by exiling him to the solitude of his bedroom for the duration of his illness, it is a good idea to limit the amount of contact that your healthy children have with a sick one to minimize the risk of contagion.
8. Sleepovers For Siblings That Share a Room – If your sick child shares his bedroom with a healthy sibling, it might be wise to consider putting your healthy child up in the guest room or your own bedroom until he’s feeling better.
9. Practice Sanitary Habits All The Time – By the time that your child is exhibiting symptoms of most common illnesses, he’s been contagious for a significant amount of time. Because an incubation period can be long enough to create a false sense of security, it’s a good idea to practice sanitary habits as much as possible, stepping your efforts up during the colder months.

While it’s certainly desirable to contain an illness to as few members of the family as possible, doing so may simply be out of your control. Managing to wipe every surface a sick child touches before it comes into contact with a healthy sibling simply isn’t feasible, so it’s wise not to be too hard on yourself if your other children do begin showing symptoms of illness.

 P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Jacqui Barrie ,  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

http://www.aupairjobs.com/articles/9-ways-to-prevent-the-spread-of-germs-among-siblings/ 

10 Appropriate Morning Time Choices for Children

In many families, mornings are easily the most stressful part of the day. Between trying to get yourself up and ready, to packing lunches and getting the kids off to school or daycare, mornings can be full of chaos. While it’s natural to ask open ended questions, like “What do you want to wear today?” giving children appropriate choices can help reduce stress, create a calmer environment, and set your children up to deliver the answers you’re hoping to hear.

When formulating morning questions, it’s essential that you think about what choices you consider appropriate. If you ask your child “What do you want for breakfast?” and he says “chocolate cake” you’re likely not going to oblige, which can trigger a morning meltdown. If you know that cereal or oatmeal are two choices you are willing and able to offer, formulate your question to reflect those choices. However, if bacon and eggs aren’t something you’re really interested in preparing, don’t provide that as a viable choice.

Another morning trap parents fall into is asking questions that start with “Do you want” or “Are you ready”. When you’re only really willing to accept “yes” for an answer, yet you provide an opportunity for your child to say “no”, you’re setting him up for making an unacceptable choice. When you’re heading out the door and you ask your child “Are you ready to go?” you’re expecting him to say “yes”. When he says “no” and you’re not able to respect his choice, you’re sending the message that his thoughts and feelings simply don’t matter.

While the exact choices you offer will depend on the age of your child and what you consider appropriate, it’s important to only offer two or three choices, and that those choices are ones you can live with.

Here are 10 of the most common questions parents ask their children each morning and 10 revised questions that reflect acceptable choices.

Instead of asking: Do you want to take a bath?

Ask: Do you want to take a bath in your tub or in mine?

Instead of asking: What do you want for breakfast?

Ask: Would you like to have eggs with cheese or without for breakfast? 

Instead of asking: What do you want to wear?

Ask: Do you want to wear this red shirt with the blue jeans or this green one?

Instead of asking: Are you ready to get dressed?

Ask: Would you like to put your shirt on first or your pants?

Instead of asking: Are you ready to brush your teeth?

Ask: Do you want to brush your teeth or do you want me to do it for you?

Instead of asking: What do you want me to pack you for lunch?

Ask: Do you want a ham and cheese or turkey and cheese sandwich for lunch?

Instead of asking: Do you want a jacket?

Ask: Would you like to wear your fleece jacket or pullover?

Instead of asking: Do you want your rain boots?

Ask: Do you want to pack your sneakers or shoes to change into?

Instead of asking: Can I brush your hair now?
Ask: Do you want me to use a comb or a brush to do your hair?

Instead of asking: Are you ready to go?

Ask: Do you want to carry your back pack or lunchbox to the car?

In addition to minimizing morning battles, giving children choices has other positive implications as well.

Giving children acceptable choices helps them feel like they’re in control. Every individual likes to feel in control of their life. When parents allow their children to make choices, they are empowering them to feel in control, fostering their desire to be independent, and teaching them responsibility in a safe and controlled environment.

Giving children acceptable choices increase self-esteem. Being able to make good choices makes kids feel good! As children learn new skills and learn do to things independently, their self-esteem grows.

Giving children acceptable choices teaches them how to make wise choices. By allowing children to make meaningful choices from a young age parents equip them to make good choices as they grow older.

While it may be tempting to simply tell a child to do something, rather than ask them, learning to make choices is an important part of early childhood development. In fact, whether children are asked to make choices or not, it’s something they do anyways. Children choose to follow the rules, obey their parents, and decide whether or not they wish to be cooperative. Parents can empower children to learn to make appropriate choices and to accept responsibilities for the choices they make.

P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Hannah Anderson. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:  

 

 http://www.fulltimenanny.com/blog/10-appropriate-morning-time-choices-for-children/

 

9 Lessons to Learn at the Pumpkin Patch

As harvest time approaches and the heat of summer gives way to the cooler weather of fall, family outings and school field trips to pumpkin patches and apple orchards become more and more common. While these outings can seem like little more than entertainment at face value, there are actually some very valuable lessons that kids can learn during their visit. Here are nine of the things that your child will almost certainly learn about from a single trip to the pumpkin patch this autumn.

1. The Life Cycle – Even the biggest pumpkin in the patch begins as a tiny, tiny seed, which is something that your child will learn when he visits the patch where those pumpkins grow. Most pumpkin patches and orchards that open for tours and outings also provide a guide of sorts for each group, and he will typically offer a brief explanation of the life cycle, simplified to help little ones grasp the basics.
2. Agriculture and Farming Practices – Many children, especially those that live in metropolitan and urban areas, have only a faint idea of farming and how agriculture affects their own lives. Taking a trip to the pumpkin patch, where farmers actively cultivate pumpkins and other crops, can help kids gain a better understanding of the important role that farming plays in society.
3. Bees and Pollination – Bees are an integral part of the pumpkin-growing process, something that kids learn when pollination is explained. In addition to the hands-on science lesson, kids can also learn that bees are more than just scary, stinging insects, and that they actually play an important role in our ecosystem.
4. Weights and Measures –Pumpkins are usually sold by weight, something that your child will be able to learn when he purchases his own pumpkin for carving or painting. Parents or caregivers that are determined to help kids learn as much as possible on their trip can also help children in their care measure the pumpkins they choose while teaching them about circumference and units of measure.
5. Buying and Selling – While they might be fun places to visit and learn, pumpkin patches are, above all else, a marketplace. Kids can get a hands-on, up-close-and-personal view of the mercantile process, the ins and outs of buying and selling, and the way that our society trades money for goods.
6. Shapes and Colors – The prevailing image of a pumpkin is one that is large, round, and orange. In reality, however, they actually come in a wide variety of colors and shapes. Young children can practice their color and shape recognition skills at the patch, and older kids can learn about the dominant and recessive genes that cause these variations.
7. Counting and Basic Math – Helping a youngster practice his counting skills, or basic addition and subtraction for kids that are a bit older, is greatly simplified when the objects in question are large and sport a bright orange hue.
8. Halloween and Harvest Time Legends – The legends of Halloween aren’t always considered suitable for all children, depending upon their family’s belief system, however harvest legends from cultures around the world are a great way to help kids appreciate diversity and gain a larger world view than what they’re afforded in their own city. Using a trip to the pumpkin patch as a conversation starter about such subjects can ensure that your kids have a fun-filled afternoon that’s followed by an informative discussion around the dinner table.
9. Farming is Hard Work! – When children have little-to-no working knowledge of farming or agriculture it’s easy for them to imagine that fruits and vegetables are produced in a factory alongside their favorite processed snacks. With a single trip to the pumpkin patch and a chance to observe the farmers there, kids can learn to appreciate the hard work that goes into every piece of fruit or vegetable that they eat.

Though the hot summer days may be fading into the cool, crisp days of fall, it’s still important to remember your child’s delicate skin before an outdoor adventure. Be sure to apply plenty of sunscreen and instruct him on proper behavior and safety to prevent any accidents or mishaps along the way. If you’re taking a self-guided tour of the pumpkin patch as a family, it might also be wise to brush up on your farming and gardening knowledge beforehand so that you can pass it along to your kids in the absence of an expert guide.

P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Sophie Leake. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

 http://www.aupaircare.net/blog/9-lessons-to-learn-at-the-pumpkin-patch/

Simple Steps to Help Kids Develop Helpful Study Habits

Teaching a child good study habits will not only make homework time easier, it will also help him earn better grades. Study skills are a foundational skill for school success, and what they learn in lower grades will serve them well for years to come.

Before diving into homework, work with your child to figure out what works best for him. Instead of trying to dictate what time your child should do his homework or what environment he works best in, work as a team to figure it out. When a child is part of developing a plan or coming up with a solution to a problem, he’s much more likely to follow through. Also, every person, whether it’s adult or child, has different needs. What works great for you may not work at all for your child. By letting him take the lead in creating good study habits, you’ll make sure they fit his needs.

Get on a schedule. Some kids do better when they have a short break between getting home from school and doing their homework. Other kids do better when they tackle homework after dinner. And others work best in cycles of 30 minutes of homework followed by 30 minutes of play time. The set-up doesn’t matter nearly as much as having a consistent schedule that fits your child’s temperament and attention span. Try different approaches and see which ones fits his needs best. Give each approach at least one full week before deciding to move onto something different. Your child’s homework schedule will probably change according to his after school activities, but you can incorporate what you know into the updated schedule (e.g. he works best after a snack, he has a hard time with TV transitions so it’s best to do homework before TV time, etc.). As your child gets older, he’ll know what time management approach works best for him and he’ll understand the importance of carving out time to focus on homework, studying, and projects.

Create a learning environment. Teaching your child how to create an environment that supports him in doing homework and studying is a key study skill. Although some kids are unbothered by a cluttered area, most children and adults do their best work when their work space is clean and organized. For children with ADD or ADHD, having an organized work area is essential. Noise is also an important part of a learning environment. Having the TV on is never a good idea. Some kids need absolute silence and others work well with music in the background. Before even sitting down, make sure to have all the necessary supplies on hand so your child doesn’t have to stop what he’s doing to go find an eraser or grab more paper. Phones and social media sites should be off limits during homework time. Texts, IMs, Tweets, and other updates create a constant flow of distractions and can derail even the best student. Teaching your child what type of environment works best for him will allow him to recreate that environment wherever he goes. As he gets older and his schedule gets more demanding, he’ll be able to effectively study at a friend’s house, at the school library, or any other place he’s at between activities.

Set up an organizational system. Being organized and having a study plan and a time table are essential in developing good study habits. Most schools require or suggest a spiral daily calendar so your child can write down his homework assignments each day. Make sure this calendar is handy when he sits down to do his homework so he can see each assignment, item by item.

Projects due at a later date usually require additional time and effort so sit down with your child and develop a plan to get it done. Help your child break the project into smaller, more manageable steps and create a timeline to get everything done. Have a larger calendar where you can record each step along with final project due dates, test dates, and other activities related to the child’s schedule. That way you’ll know if a softball game conflicts with a weekend writing session.

Find a convenient place to keep all handouts. Sheets listing weekly spelling words, study guides for upcoming tests, project outlines, and other important paperwork can go on a bulletin board or inside a binder or a file folder. The system that works best for you and your child depends on your home’s space, how much paperwork you have, and your personal preferences. Make sure that as your child gets older, he takes on more and more responsibility for emptying his backpack and putting papers in the agreed upon area.

Homework and study time don’t have to be a nightly battle. With some creative planning, you and your child can work together to create a schedule, space, and system that works for you both.

 P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Martina Keyhell. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

 http://www.becomeananny.com/blog/simple-steps-to-help-kids-develop-helpful-study-habits/

How To Protect Kids From Bullying Without Turning Them Into A Bully

While it’s something that has gained a lot of press in recent years, bullying is not a new thing. In past generations, it was considered a rite of passage, and was something that was simply expected. Today, however, we have a much better understanding of bullying and the lifelong effects of it on both the bully and the victim.

Bullying takes on many different forms. Verbal bullying includes intimidation and threats, name calling, insults about gender, race, sexual orientation, special needs, disabilities, or other personal characteristics, public humiliation, and spreading rumors.  Physical bullying includes tripping, pinching, hitting, pushing, and destroying or stealing personal property. Cyberbullying includes harassing emails, texts, and instant messages, and intimidating, harassing, or humiliating posts and pictures on Facebook, Twitter, blogs, and other websites. Cyberbullying can be especially damaging because it continues outside of school hours and off of school grounds, and has the ability to reach a large audience. These attacks can continue to circulate online long after the initial event.

If you think your child is being bullied, you’re not alone. Up to half of all children are bullied at some point during their school years, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Some of the possible warning signs that your child might be a victim of bullying are if your child:

• Comes home with torn clothes.
• Is missing sweaters, jackets, school supplies, or other things repeatedly.
• Has unexplained cuts, bruises, and scratches.
• Is afraid of going to school, walking to and from school, or riding the school bus.
• Suddenly begins to do poorly in school.
• Is sad, upset, angry, or depressed when she comes home.
• Complains frequently of headaches, stomachaches, being tired, or other physical ailments that would prevent her from going to school.
• Has few friends.

If you think your child might be being bullied, you’re not helpless. There are things you can do to stop the bullying, help your child deal with the after effects, and stop future attacks.

Encourage your child to share her feelings. It’s important that your child has a safe place to talk about what’s happening and how she feels about it. When your child opens up, listen without dismissing her feelings (e.g. “Oh, you shouldn’t get so upset about what she says.”), without downplaying the incident (e.g. “Don’t listen to what that boy says. You’re beautiful just how you are!”) or without assuring her things will immediately change (e.g. “I’ll talk to your teacher and it will be OK.”) Offer empathy and support, let her know you’re on her side, remind her that she’s not to blame for what happened, and work with her to find a solution.

Contact school administrators. You should report all bullying to your child’s school. Many schools have bullying policies already in place so you’ll have a good idea what to expect. Present as many details as you have and ask what actions will be taken. Make sure you follow up and stay up-to-date on how your complaint is being handled. Unfortunately not all principals and teachers take bullying seriously and you may have to be the squeaky wheel to get them to take meaningful action. If your child was physically attacked, talk to the school principal immediately to decide if the police should be involved.

Model an honest yet appropriate response. Of course you’re going to be angry if your child is being bullied.  Be honest with your child about how you’re feeling while letting her know that acting on anger, hurt, humiliation or other negative emotions doesn’t solve the problem. Put your energy into working with the school to stop the bullying behavior to ensure the bully is dealt with appropriately and to help your child deal with the emotional toll of bullying.

Boost your child’s self-esteem. There’s no such thing as a bully-proof child, but kids that have high self-esteem, are part of supportive friendships, and are involved in activities they enjoy and are good at are much less susceptible to bullying. In today’s world there’s a group, team, or club for pretty much any activity your child is interested in. Sports, volunteering, music, performing arts, chess, gaming, or outdoor adventure can all help your child avoid or successfully deal with bullying. If her school doesn’t offer anything your child is interested in, look in your local community.

Bullying is a problem that isn’t going away anytime soon. Public awareness, prevention programs, and progressive school policies are making it easier to identify and deal with bullies, but occurrences of bullying aren’t declining. In fact, cyberbullying is increasing at an alarming rate as smart phones become standard equipment for students. As a parent, you have the power to help your child to deal with bullying wherever and whenever she might encounter it.

 P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Meghan Welker.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information

http://www.babysitting.net/blog/how-to-protect-kids-from-bullying-without-turning-them-into-a-bully/ 

How to Create an Emergency Kit for Your Home

You never know when an emergency will happen, which is why you should always be ready for one if the situation does arise. To make sure you’re prepared for whatever may come, take the time to create an emergency kit for your home and make sure every member of your family and your nanny know where it is and what’s inside.  Also make sure everyone knows and understands the emergency procedures for a disaster. This kind of preparation can save you seconds or minutes in a life-threatening situation.

Learn about your local emergency warning systems. Your local emergency management office, civil defense office, or Red Cross chapter can give you detailed information about your area’s early warning systems. Know where to get up-to-date information about natural disasters like tornados, hurricanes, and flooding. To make sure you don’t miss a critical announcement, purchase a self-powered weather alert radio that can be set to your location and warn you of a weather emergency. 

Stock up on supplies for a power outage. Short power outages are inconvenient, but long outages can be a danger to your family’s health and safety. Make sure you have self-powered flashlights and lanterns, an emergency radio, and plenty of batteries for book lights, portable DVD players, and handheld games.  Stock up on non-perishable food like canned meats, tuna, soups, fruits, and vegetables, plus boxed food like crackers, goldfish, and other kid-friendly snacks. Make sure you have a hand-held can opener on hand too. Have plenty of water available for each person in your family. If you have a wood-burning fireplace or stove, stock enough wood to keep a fire going for a few days. In winter, this may be your only way to keep the chill away.

Create a fire escape plan. This can be a family project. Using graph paper create a map of each floor of your home, including all possible emergency exits, like windows and doors. Map out one, and two if possible, escape routes from each room. If you have a second story, include routes that use lower story roofs and home emergency window ladders. Choose a place far from the house to meet as a family once each person escapes the house. Make sure there’s a clear landmark like a street sign or large tree to avoid frightened or panicked family members becoming disorientated. Decide in advance who will help younger children out of the house. Practice getting out of the house and meeting at the family meeting spot with your children at least twice a year. This can be a fun family activity. Have everyone start in bed blindfolded to simulate a smoky, nighttime fire. Practice staying low to the ground or crawling, covering your mouth with a cloth, and checking doors to see if they’re cool to the touch and safe to open. Once you get outside, remove the blindfold and head to the meeting spot. Time the escape from start to finish to ensure your family can make it out in a reasonable amount of time.

Choose an emergency meeting place in case of evacuation. Chances are your family members will be in separate locations when disaster hits. If your neighborhood is unsafe or has been evacuated, choose a place to meet. It should be accessible by every member of the family, in a safe area (e.g. out of the flood zone), and not in an area that gets congested during an evacuation. Each family member or caregiver should have a map with the designated location and alternative routes to get there clearly marked.

Know who to contact in case of an emergency. Often during an emergency, local phone lines are down and cell towers are overloaded, making it impossible to connect with family members or caregivers who are not with you. Designate a first and second contact person, that way if a family member isn’t able to make it to the meeting point they can get a message to the rest of the family through the contact person. Choose people far outside the local area who would likely be unaffected by the disaster.

Don’t forget your pets. Include your dog or cat in your emergency plan. Designate one person to be in charge of crating and carrying the animals in an emergency evacuation, and if your pet sleeps in a crate, releasing him in case of fire.

Fires, natural disasters, and other emergencies can be scary, especially for children. Developing a smart plan of action, practicing the plan, knowing who is responsible for doing what, and having the right supplies on hand can not only give you peace of mind, it can also be the difference between handling an emergency and a experiencing family tragedy.

P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by Jeralyn Nelson. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

 http://www.housesittingjobs.com/blog/how-to-create-an-emergency-kit-for-your-home/

How to Use a Family Meeting as a Discipline Tool

Many parents think of discipline as something that is done in the moment, an action that stops a child from misbehaving, or one that doles out the consequence of past misbehavior. Of course that’s part of discipline, but another part, one that can greatly lessen the need for “in the moment” discipline, is teaching tools. These are tools parents and caregivers can use to curb misbehavior before it happens. Family meetings are one of the most effective discipline teaching tools.

Family meetings don’t have to be long or complicated to be successful.

In fact, the best aren’t. Getting your family all together in a room focused on each other rather than the outside world is a challenge. But it can be done and is well worth the effort. Depending upon the age of your children, the size of your family, and the issues you’re tackling, a family meeting can last between 15 and 45 minutes.  Most are right around 30 minutes. By making these gatherings a priority and putting them on the calendar in advance, you can set the stage for how your family interacts for the rest of the week and over the long haul. Working with an agenda lets everyone know what to expect and keeps the meeting on track. Once your family gets in the habit of holding regular meetings, it becomes a part of how your family operates.

Family meetings teach children many important things.

Many of the skills children need to regulate their behavior and navigate the challenges they face every day are taught and practiced in the family meeting. They learn to listen to others respectfully, they get to see and be a part of the problem solving process, they experience the value of a cooling off period before tackling an issue, they come to understand that accountability is an important part of moving past mistakes, and they see cooperation between children and adults in action. Family meetings give children a real voice in the family, help them feel respected, valued, and supported, and let them contribute to the family in a significant way. Imagine how all those things will positively impact your child’s behavior outside of the meeting!

There are four components to a Positive Discipline style family meeting.

When you first start having meetings, introduce one component each week until your family understands each part. After that, you can combine all the elements together.

1. The agenda is where family members can list problems they’re having that they want to talk about in a family meeting. Mostly likely not all problems can be tackled in the meeting, but putting them on the list shows the family member his concerns are important and heard. The agenda should be posted in a common area like the kitchen or laundry room. Younger children can ask an older sibling or parent to write their items on the list.
2. Compliments are a way to connect in a meaningful way to each other. Each member offers one (or more!) compliment to other members. This can be a thank you for something said or done, an “atta boy” for an accomplishment, or something he appreciates about that person.
3. Brainstorming is coming up with as many solutions as you can think of to a problem listed on the agenda. Encourage creativity by adding silly ideas to the list. After the brainstorming cross off any solutions that aren’t practical, respectful, or helpful. From the new list, work together to choose one solution to try out for a week.
4. Plan a family fun activity that everyone commits to and add it to your family calendar. The fun activity doesn’t have to be one that all members agree on. Remember, you’re teaching respect for the ideas and wishes of others and cooperation. The important thing is to spend time together as a family having fun. One week you might go bowling, your older child’s favorite activity. The next week you might watch the football game together, Dad’s pick. And the next week you might go to the community pool for the afternoon, something everyone wants to do.

There’s no such thing as a perfect family meeting.

Your family meetings will go faster and more smoothly once everyone learns the basic skills required. However all skills need practice and each meeting will serve as a practice session. The good news is there is no right or wrong way to hold a family meeting. As long as members are coming together, learning, and connecting, you’re on the right track.

Once adults and children experience family meetings in their home, they often use the same format in other relationships and situations. Adults can use the format at work with co-workers, older children can use them with their friends and classmates, and nannies can use them with their charges. Wherever there are two or more people in a relationship with each other, a family meeting can help them live, work, and play happier together.

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5. Valentine’s Day Cooking Ideas
    
   P.S. This post was  proposed to me for publication by  Sara Dawkins.  I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:

    
   http://www.nannypro.com/blog/how-to-use-a-family-meeting-as-a-discipline-tool/