last moon
Visualizzazione post con etichetta problems. Mostra tutti i post
Visualizzazione post con etichetta problems. Mostra tutti i post
giovedì 31 ottobre 2013
The stabbing scream
sabato 29 giugno 2013
To stop smoking
I smoked for many years. Too many. I
still wore shorts trousers and was already rolling my first cigarettes, sometimes with tobacco collected in the street from the endcigarettes: it was stuff that could kill a horse.
When I was a kid, my movie and TV idols were all heavy smokers. Even my father and my elder brothers were smokers. So I started to smoke, too: the cigarette made me feel taller, more mature, more importantly, bigger.
My first pocket money is literally ended up on smoke.
In those days you were unaware of the serious harm of smoking that, not infrequently, leads to death.
Later, in London, I also met other methods and other substances to smoke. I never really went on search of it, but it happened by chance.
Hindsight I think I would avoid even that kind of smoke: it distorts reality, creating emotions, sometimes beautiful, sometimes ugly, but a man has within himself everything, without having to resort to external substances.
I also speak of alcoholic substances, which are dangerous too, especially if perceived as an aid to overcome difficult situations or to find a pleasure. I do not make an ideological issue of it, or worse, a fundamentalist crusade, indeed. But I want to say that smoke is dangerous and it's to avoid.
There are now so many methods to help people to stop smoking.
I stopped by force of will, without manuals and without method. But that depends on my training, from my way of being: I always had to do everything myself (well, almost everything, in fact).
I do not make a boast on it, and indeed I regret writing it. If I could go back, I probably would open more to others, confessing my weaknesses, asking for help, without lock myself into my pride, in my shyness, in my fears; but every man is forged in the environment which he lives in and while he's in the waves of life, he looks for a way to survive without too much rationalism, in an instinctive way.
I am the sixth of eleven children: I found myself in the middle, between older brothers who had to think about themselves and younger siblings whom I have tried to give protection and good example. My parents have been two great persons ( mother is still alive; father has left too long ago), being an example and a reference point, without being oppressive and intrusive (but how could they have been it, even if they wanted?) and they have always left us free to choose.
Never the less, I personally testify that the fight against smoking might need an external help. No more people should die any more for active smoking, and even less for passive smoking.
Help is needed because the battle against smoking is really difficult to fight.
For two years, after stop smoking, I dreamed of smoking and woke up sweating in the middle of the night, regretting my stupidity to have started smoking again, and when I discovered that he had just been a dream, I fell asleep again, happy not to have fall back in the coils of the terrible vice.
Never mind if I'm, after having stopped smoking, fattened twenty pounds (I was an anchovy, when I smoked, I am now a salmon, although not smoked), but it is better this way!
And furthermore I know people who have quit smoking without even fatter than a pound.
Also available in Italian language at the link: http://albixpoeti.blog.tiscali.it/?doing_wp_cron
When I was a kid, my movie and TV idols were all heavy smokers. Even my father and my elder brothers were smokers. So I started to smoke, too: the cigarette made me feel taller, more mature, more importantly, bigger.
My first pocket money is literally ended up on smoke.
In those days you were unaware of the serious harm of smoking that, not infrequently, leads to death.
Later, in London, I also met other methods and other substances to smoke. I never really went on search of it, but it happened by chance.
Hindsight I think I would avoid even that kind of smoke: it distorts reality, creating emotions, sometimes beautiful, sometimes ugly, but a man has within himself everything, without having to resort to external substances.
I also speak of alcoholic substances, which are dangerous too, especially if perceived as an aid to overcome difficult situations or to find a pleasure. I do not make an ideological issue of it, or worse, a fundamentalist crusade, indeed. But I want to say that smoke is dangerous and it's to avoid.
There are now so many methods to help people to stop smoking.
I stopped by force of will, without manuals and without method. But that depends on my training, from my way of being: I always had to do everything myself (well, almost everything, in fact).
I do not make a boast on it, and indeed I regret writing it. If I could go back, I probably would open more to others, confessing my weaknesses, asking for help, without lock myself into my pride, in my shyness, in my fears; but every man is forged in the environment which he lives in and while he's in the waves of life, he looks for a way to survive without too much rationalism, in an instinctive way.
I am the sixth of eleven children: I found myself in the middle, between older brothers who had to think about themselves and younger siblings whom I have tried to give protection and good example. My parents have been two great persons ( mother is still alive; father has left too long ago), being an example and a reference point, without being oppressive and intrusive (but how could they have been it, even if they wanted?) and they have always left us free to choose.
Never the less, I personally testify that the fight against smoking might need an external help. No more people should die any more for active smoking, and even less for passive smoking.
Help is needed because the battle against smoking is really difficult to fight.
For two years, after stop smoking, I dreamed of smoking and woke up sweating in the middle of the night, regretting my stupidity to have started smoking again, and when I discovered that he had just been a dream, I fell asleep again, happy not to have fall back in the coils of the terrible vice.
Never mind if I'm, after having stopped smoking, fattened twenty pounds (I was an anchovy, when I smoked, I am now a salmon, although not smoked), but it is better this way!
And furthermore I know people who have quit smoking without even fatter than a pound.
Also available in Italian language at the link: http://albixpoeti.blog.tiscali.it/?doing_wp_cron
lunedì 20 agosto 2012
Teaching Children Problem Solving Skills
Give her the vocabulary to describe the problem and talk about her feelings.
One of the first steps in problem solving is being able to define the
problem, including telling the other person how you feel. When children
are young you are able to guess at how they may be feeling in different
circumstances and verbalize their feelings for them. For example, when
an infant struggles to reach a toy that’s out of reach you can say,
“You’re frustrated that you can’t reach the toy.” When a toddler begins
to cry after a favorite truck is taken away by a playmate you can say,
“It makes you angry when Sam takes your truck away from you without
asking first.” When a preschooler gets ignored by a group of kids on the
playground you can say, “I bet you feel sad when other kids don’t give
you the chance to play with them.” As children get older, they will be
able to describe the situation they’re facing and how they feel about
it. This is the first step in working towards a solution.
Give her choices from an early age. Kids that have
strong problem solving skills think in terms of options. When you ask
your child if she’d rather wear shorts or a skirt to school, if she’d
like eggs, waffles, or yogurt for breakfast, or if she’d like to go to
the park before or after she finishes her homework, you’re showing her
that there are many answers to most questions. Instead of simply telling
her what her next move should be, you’re encouraging her to think about
the pros and cons of each choice and then make the choice that best
meets the needs of situation. So when she’s faced with a problem she’s
more likely to think about the possibilities that are available and not
simply look to you or another person to solve the problem for her.
Practice problem solving in calm situations. Problem
solving is a learned skill. Like other skills, the more kids practice
it the better they become at it. Offering children ongoing opportunities
to solve problems that don’t have a strong emotional charge is an
effective way to teach them the process of assessing the situation,
coming up with possible solutions, and deciding on the best approach.
The good news is that your child brings you lots of non-emotionally
charged problems throughout the day, although they may not look like
problems on the surface. They usually look like “How do I do that?”
questions. For example, your preschooler may say, “I want to bring my
pony collection to show and tell tomorrow but I can’t find it.” Instead
of asking her when she last played with it or suggesting she look in the
black bin in the play room say, “You want to bring your collection to
school but you don’t know where it is. Hum, what ideas do you have to
solve that problem?” Kids love to come up with creative ideas that they
can act on. Maybe she’ll make a map of where she played yesterday, maybe
she’ll search each room from right to left or maybe she’ll ask her
older sister if she’s seen it. The ideas she comes up with are less
important than the process she’s learning to use.
Talk in positive language. Attitude means a lot when
it comes to solving problems. When children are surrounded by positive
talk it becomes a habit for them too. They look to the possibilities of a
situation rather than the obstacles or limitations.
Model problem solving skills in your own life. Like
most things, the best way to teach great problem solving skills is to
model them for your child. Instead of figuring things out in your head,
talk through even the smallest problems that you face throughout the
day. This will give your child a good feel for the process, help her
understand how brainstorming works, and show her that if Solution A
doesn’t work out, you move onto Solution B then Solution C. By modeling
this type of behavior you can teach her how to solve problems with a
positive attitude.
Kids that have good problem solving skills are well equipped to deal
with the problems that regularly come up in everyday life. Armed with a
positive attitude and a solid understanding of the process, they can
successfully tackle the challenges that they may face.
P.S. This post was proposed to me for publication by Maureen Denard. I'm therefore publishing it by her invitation and under her permission. See also the link below fore more information:
http://www.findananny.net/blog/teaching-children-problem-solving-skills/
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