(Soon after a clock beats up five o’clock, someone knocks at the entrance door)
Francesco (detaching himself)
- Someone has knocked at the door! May be Max is back.
Brenda (going to open the door)
- He often forgets his own keys when I’m at home, though I’m waiting for someone at five o’clock!
Jonathan(Enters with a bag on his shoulder)
-Hello Brenda! Where’s old Max! I got a present for him in this bag!!!
Brenda (with surprise)
-It’s you, Jon?!? Welcome!! Max is coming back soon! Leave your present in your bag, please! I want to introduce to you a good italian friend of ours…….
After they hear knocking at the door, Brenda goes to open it
(Enter Inspector Green and his two policemen)
Insp. Green (while entering, showing his badge)
-Everybody keep steady, please! That’s a legal search! (to Jonathan) And you Norman or Vincent or whatever you have been named in your fucking Jamaica, give us that bag!!!
Jonathan ( still with his hand in the bag)
-I don’t think there is nothing interesting a legal search in my bag!!!
Insp. Green ( with sarcastic smile)
-Don’t worry about that, maroon! It’s up to us the valuation, isn’t it boys???
-Come on , young boy! Don’t make the Inspector been upset…
- And I’m also very nervous indeed!!!
-I’m telling you that there is only a present for my friend’s Max birthday!!!!
Insp. Green(still sarcastic)
-Well! Why not? A very good present from Jamaica…
First PM (getting closer and grabbing Jon’s bag)
-Let’s see your present…
Second PM (drawing the pack out )
-I’ll try a guess! It weighs a pound…more and less
Insp. Green (tearing off the paper)
-Bloody Hell! Someone is kidding up!!! What does this book here mean ?
Jonathan (catching the paper from the floor in a very nervous voice)
-I believe I’ve told you a few times before, haven’t I? I hope you have some good paper to wrap it up again!!!!
First PM (grabbing the book)
-The Trilogy of Don Juan!!
Second PM (sneering)
-Who is going to read such a boring thing?!?
Jonathan (grabbing violently the book from his hands)
-I doubt you would be able to understand an only word of it!!!
Insp. Green (emptying the bag’s content on the floor)
-Well ! OK! Let’s stop messing around! You give us the stuff and we all be all right? Where is that pound of grass from Jamaica?
Jonathan (always angrier collecting his things from the floor)
-Listen to me now! My name is Jonathan Close! J, o, n, ‘you know? Without any h! My father is Jew ‘ you know? Though I can reasonably suppose that my ancestor’s bones rest in the English ground much before than yours’s! When in life they were famous for other pounds of different stuff….now if you’re looking for any grass either you go in to my house’s lawn or you catch a plane right to your beloved Jamaica, all right???
- All right! You have well played your role, young boy! Just collect your things and let’s work out our business!! Who is the landlord here?