While the tradition of choosing godparents for a new baby is
typically affiliated with the Roman Catholic faith, there are some parents who
are of different religions or no religion at all that are eager to confer the
honor upon someone close to them. Choosing godparents for your child can be a
difficult task, especially if you are worried about offending members of your
family by passing them over. There are a few ways that you can manage the
situation with as much grace as possible, however, hopefully staving off any
hurt feelings or family feuds.
Look Outside of the Family
Sometimes choosing godparents outside of your family is the best option. Make
it known to your relatives that you’re doing so because there are too many of
them that you’d like to honor and no way of deciding fairly without offending
someone. Under Catholic tradition, a sibling of the mother and a sibling of the
father are generally chosen as godparents. This is an especially good tactic if
you and your partner have several siblings. Because part of the godparenting
tradition for some families also includes caring for your children in the event
of your untimely demise, many new parents feel more comfortable opting for a
couple to act as godparents, over tangentially-related adults. Explaining to
your respective siblings or other relatives that you feel more comfortable
leaving the future of your children in the hands of an established couple may
also take some of the sting out of a perceived rejection.
Honorary Title Versus Legal Guardianship
For some parents, choosing godparents is a strictly ceremonial gesture with
other plans made for the legal guardianship of their child in the event of a
tragedy. For others, the primary reason for choosing godparents is to designate
a legal guardian to prevent confusion. If you’re determined to choose a
godparent outside of your family, you should consider what capacity you’ll be
expecting them to act. For the purely ceremonial purposes of being a special
person in your child’s life, you can feel a bit more secure asking a friend who
is very close to you. If you will be moving for legal guardianship as part of
your godparents’ duties, the decision justifiably becomes a bit more
difficult.
The Question of Faith
If you’re choosing godparents as a tradition connected with your spirituality
and have strong convictions about your children being raised in that faith,
should you be taken from them, it’s wise to consider the implications of
choosing godparents from outside of your faith. If you expect your child’s
godparents to be responsible for his upbringing in the event of a tragedy, you
should also expect that they would naturally be likely to instill more of their
own religious beliefs than your own. If your family members don’t share your
religious affiliation, this can be another talking point you bring up in order
to gently explain your choice to opt for godparents outside of the family.
Stand Firm
While it’s obviously important to be considerate of your relatives’ feelings,
it’s also important that you not allow yourself to be manipulated or dissuaded
from a decision that has significant meaning to you. If you’re closer to your
childhood best friend than the sister you rarely see, there is no shame in
naming your best friend the godmother. Keeping a grasp on your composure in the
face of blatant disappointment or disapproval is never easy, but refusing to
argue or be drawn into a debate can prevent dramatic scenes that are difficult
to overcome. Stating that you have made your decision and that you hope your
family members can respect it as one of your first major choices as a new parent
can help to diffuse some anger, especially if you remain calm and respectful
throughout the conversation.
This post was proposed to me for publication by Kaitlyn Johnson. If you wanto know more about this, please just click on the belowed link:
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